The First Trial
The following morning, the group gathers in the commons around a low wooden table. Lumi sits cross-legged on the floor, his cheeks stuffed with honeyed bread, an extra serving clutched in his hands. Khimi slumps into the chair behind him, his features sunken, as though he had been drained of energy. Dark circles cling to his closed eyes, and he rests his hands wearily on his stomach. Across from them sit Mido and Augustus, lounging in tall backed chairs and clearly stuffed from the feast they had carried back from the dining hall.
Ennui’s voice drips with venom as she speaks up. “You’re both imbeciles,” she declares. “You went off and met this Gilbert, agreed to some trial without me? These… chosen, some of them have dangerous reputations. You can’t just go off doing things like this without thinking it through.”
Lumi replies swiftly, speaking around mouthfuls of bread. “I thought about it plenty, Ennui.” His tail thumps against the ground energetically as he continues. “What choice did we have?!”
Khimi’s weary voice interjects a cautionary note. “Lumi…”
“And hells, what did you do to him?” she asks, eyeing Khimi suspiciously.“He looks like he hasn’t slept in days.”
A smirk tugs at Lumi’s lips as he turns towards her. “Oh, I’m sure you’d love to know.”
“Figured as much,” Ennui grunts. “Of course. You’re worse than a succubus.”
“A what?”
“I’m fine,” Khimi whispers, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. “I was lost in my thoughts last night, unable to sleep while contemplating whatever this trial may be.”
Mido chimes in, lifting a heavy eyelid. “Did he tell you anything about it? Like having to read some holy scripture or perform some sacred rituals?”
Augustus erupts into a fit of laughter, doubling over with his hand pressed against his side. “He certainly fits the mold of a dark and broody type. Perhaps he’s one of those infamous necromancers we’ve heard tales of. The ones who conjure up creepy crawlies.” He pauses thoughtfully, then adds, “What if he makes you kill someone?!”
“I think he’s just broody,” Khimi whispers, his eyelids still shut tight.
Ennui lets out an annoyed snort. “Oh really? Who would have guessed that the man shrouded in black robes with a flock of ravens trailing after him could possibly be dark and brooding?”
“He may seem intimidating, but I think he’s really sweet,” Lumi counters defiantly. “I imagine living for centuries without anyone to love you can make a person feel tired and lonely.”
Mido speaks up with a curious tilt of his head. “But isn’t that the fate of all chosen? To watch everyone else age and move on while you remain eternally bound to serve the gods?”
Lumi pauses, his gaze drifting towards the stained-glass window as he contemplates Mido’s words. “I suppose so,” he finally concedes. “It must be difficult to keep witnessing the lives of others and know that everyone you meet is destined to disappear before you.”
Augustus, scoffing at him, says, “You make it sound like being chosen by the gods is a curse.”
Mido clears his throat. “I think there is value in what Lumi says. When I met Saint Nina, I could tell that though she was excited to meet me, she also felt sad too. Like she saw something beyond just who I am. I think she saw the same thing in me that she sees in everyone that comes through her doors. That she will long outlive them, that putting herself closer to them would only open her to more pain.”
“Is that why she’s so selective about who she speaks to intimately?” Augustus muses, smirking as he arches a brow at Lumi.
“She didn’t treat me any differently—”
“Whatever, Lumi!” Ennui snaps, waving her hand. “This isn’t the point. The point is, Khimi and you have a trial today, and you two were busy snogging all night like rabbits.”
“Were not!” Lumi grumbles, but Khimi scoffs and raises an eyebrow. “A-anyway, Gilbert said this was going to be an easy trial. So it’s fine, right?”
“So you’re just going to take it lightly?” Ennui questions aggressively. “What if it’s a trial by combat? That man may look old, but he has years of experience under his belt. You saw what Raul did. I’m sure as hells certain the Saint of Truth can do so much worse.”
“I highly doubt there will be a trial by combat,” Khimi replies quickly, sitting up straight and placing a comforting hand on top of Lumi’s head. “But even if it is, we’ll be ready for it, won’t we?”
Ennui scoffs and sweeps her hair from her face. “Lumi doesn’t even have his spear anymore. And neither of you have practiced much since we left Sidi.”
“Aww! Are you worried about us?” With a mouth full of honeyed cake, Lumi eyes Ennui with skepticism. “Besides, I don’t really need a spear. It’s just nice to have.”
Ennui, leaning against the wall, then mumbles her response, “You’re better with one than without.” Her voice is tinged with annoyance. “You’re quick with your hands, I’ll give you that. But the spear gives you options. You don’t have to get close.”
Lumi turns to Khimi for support. “I can just… call one into my hands or use one of the javelins I summon.” He shoots a confident grin at Khimi. “Right, Khimi?”
Khimi’s reply is surprisingly firm, “If you can maintain the form long enough.” He sighs, then continues, “You know you can’t focus long enough to hold onto its corporeal form.”
Rolling his eyes in frustration, Lumi counters, “I did it before… and I’m getting better!”
“Mmm,” Ennui responds, her laugh bordering on malicious. “You’re still shit with magick, at least when you don’t channel the divine’s power, that is.”
Lumi’s tone hardens. “I told you before… I’m not going to use it unless we have to. Every time I touch those powers, people die.”
“People die every day, Lumi. From your magick or not, it doesn’t matter,” Ennui retorts, scoffing.
“Either way!” Lumi growls again, “there’s no reason to use it here. We’ll be fine! He’s probably just going to make us read some stupid book!”
Ennui’s laughter cuts through Lumi like a knife. “That’s rich. Hopefully Khimi can do the reading, because if you have to read anything… this trial will take years.”
Lumi shakes his head in exasperation. “Why are you so mean?”
Augustus pats his stuffed belly contentedly. “She’s just speaking the truth.”
Khimi playfully tousles Lumi’s hair, trying to ease his nerves. “Don’t worry, like you said, this one will be easy. The old man said we deserve a break from our lengthy journey.”
Lumi’s face lights up with excitement. “Yeah! And he was so kind to us. I can’t imagine he would do anything to harm us.”
Ennui rolls her eyes and snaps at them. “You’re both too trusting. He’s probably plotting something as we speak.”
Khimi chuckles and stands up from his chair. “Come on, Ennui. If he wanted to harm us, he would have had plenty of time by now… I want to believe he does not mean to harm us.”
Augustus chimes in, smacking his lips thoughtfully. “The different orders of the Faith don’t always get along. In the past, there were conflicts and battles between them. They even had wars, according to historical texts. So maybe it’s best to be cautious. Who knows… he might lead you into a false sense of security then… wham!” He claps his hands together for emphasis.
Mido leans over the arm of the chair and tries to reassure them. “But I’m sure you two will be just fine. After all, you are chosen and Khimi is smart enough for the both of you.”
Lumi pauses, his eyes closing in deep thought. “I am more than capable on my own as well.”
Ennui and Augustus burst into fits of laughter at the statement. Ennui bends over, slapping her knee.
“I am!” Lumi insists, pouting slightly.
“Ennui,” Khimi whispers sternly, narrowing his eyes at her. “Remember that I owe my life to him… in case you’ve forgotten.”
“I haven’t,” she snaps back, avoiding his gaze.
“I know,” Lumi interjects before things can escalate. “We’re just gonna focus on seeing Gilbert now. We don’t know what’ll happen, but I want you all to know how much it means that you’re here with us. Even you, Ennui.”
Ennui scoffs and looks away. “As if I had a damn choice.”
“But you did,” Khimi mutters from behind Lumi.
Ennui chuckles, scratching at her cheek. “I’m sure you wouldn’t have made it this far without me.”
Lumi’s tail swishes anxiously behind him as he pulls at the hem of his parka. “If anything happens to us, please do your best to stay safe.”
Augustus’ laughter fills the room. He turns his gaze to Ennui, his eyes filled with mirth.“I wouldn’t worry about them harming an acolyte or his guardian,” he says with a chuckle. “But Ennui, on the other hand, I’m surprised they even let her step foot in this place. Surprised she didn’t just, you know, catch fire.”
Lumi lets out a sigh and hurries to the door, his steps heavy with anticipation. He places a trembling hand on the knob and looks back at his companions with a nervous smile. “This is it,” he mumbles, trying to hide his fear. “Wish us luck.”
As Lumi swings open the door and steps into the hallway. His heart races. He can’t shake Khimi’s earlier words about their past lives and the fact that their souls have never found peace before.
A deep, gruff voice resonates in his mind—Y’sol’s. Do not be afraid, little lion, she says, surprisingly comforting.
Lumi opens his mouth to respond, but no words come out. Fear grips him tightly as Khimi pushes him down the hall, walking silently beside him. Together, they make their way through the tower without exchanging a single word. Lumi’s unease is apparent in the rapid flicking of his tail, but Khimi seems to understand and takes hold of it, pressing against the sharp bony end with soothing circles.
As they step onto the bridge, the cold wind whips around them, chilling them to the bone. As soon as their feet touch the frozen stone, the familiar gloom of the north consumes them. Across the distance, a small flock of ravens gathers on either side of the stony railing, waiting for them. Their raucous squawks break the quiet air as they flutter toward Lumi and Khimi, joining them on their journey. With each step, the ravens walk and hobble alongside them, guiding them toward their destination.
“They’re so annoying,” Lumi mutters uncomfortably, pulling his hood tighter around his face as he steals a glance at Khimi.
Khimi gives a slow nod and continues onward in silence. His boots send cracks over the thin ice.
The second tower looms before them, more menacing and darker than the day before. The depth of the ravine appears endless, stretching far beyond what he can see. The ravens take flight and gather before the double doors, turning to stare back at them with their glassy eyes.
Lumi slides next to Khimi and takes his hand. The doors open in front of them, causing the ravens to retreat into the tower’s darkness. Lumi offers a smile to Khimi before stepping in front of him.
“We’ll be fine,” Khimi says swiftly. “Whatever happens in there, we’ll make it through.”
Lumi furrows his brow in thought and whispers, “I know.” He takes Khimi’s hands in his own. “I just—”
Before he can finish his thought, Khimi presses his lips against Lumi’s. The ice beneath them cracks as Khimi falls to his knees, pulling Lumi down with him. Heat radiates from Khimi’s body as he holds Lumi close, his breath warm against Lumi’s neck.
“K-Khimi,” Lumi whispers in his ear, the strength of Khimi’s embrace drawing their bodies together. “W-what’s wrong?” he stammers.
Khimi’s lips glide along Lumi’s neck as he whispers once more, “We’ll be fine.”
Lumi wraps his arms around Khimi’s neck, feeling an unexpected surge of confidence. “I know,” he replies boldly. “No matter what challenges the gods throw at us, we’ll confront ‘em together.”
Khimi’s lips find his once more, their mouths pressing urgently against one another. Lumi yields to the warmth of Khimi’s touch and shuts his eyes, feeling Khimi’s hands glide up his parka.
Lumi manages to whisper Khimi’s name amidst kisses and whimpers.
Khimi’s grip tightens on his ass, his fingers digging in as he presses his lips harder against him. And just as quickly as it begins, it ends. Khimi straightens his jacket and trousers before whispering, “Just in case.”
“In case?” Lumi asks with a puzzled snort.
“I never get to feel you again,” Khimi replies, offering Lumi a flickering smile as he places a hand on Lumi’s shoulder and guides him into the tower.
Lumi can’t help but snicker nervously as they step into the darkness. “Didn’t you say we’d be fine?”
“We will,” Khimi chuckles, surveying the familiar room.
Caution, Lumi. The gods cannot hear or see you in the inner sanctum.
“Khimi, where do you think the inner sanctum is here? In the Temple of Life, it was deep in the center.”
Khimi pauses before the door, where the ravens have started to flock around. “If I had to guess, I’d say it was this library,” he replies. “Each of the inner sanctums is supposed to represent their order, right?”
Lumi shakes his head. “I-I don’t know. I never really went. I just know it holds a special meaning to Nina. It’s really beautiful inside.”
“I believe this place is significant to Gilbert. So, I think it’s reasonable to assume this is probably the inner sanctum. Why do you ask?” Khimi questions, placing his hand on the door. “Do you need to tell me something?”
Lumi shakes his head. “No, I just… was wondering, is all.”
The door opens with a slow creak, revealing infinite rows of bookshelves lining both sides of the aisle. The high ceilings fade into darkness, and chandeliers hang from ropes throughout the room, suspended from impossibly high and unseen heights. The only sound that can be heard is the echo of their footfalls until they eventually approach the sitting area from the day before. Still seated in the same chair, almost as if he has not moved since their last discussion, Gilbert slowly turns the pages of a tome. A collection of codices and scrolls rests atop the small table to the side and around him on the floor.
Gilbert’s gaze shifts up, then between the two of them. He adjusts the front of his robes, brushing away crumbs and straightening the fabric. A low rumble emanates from his throat as he begins to speak. “Ah, back so soon?”
“It’s been… a whole day?” Lumi can’t help but whisper, taking in Gilbert’s somewhat disheveled appearance and the dishes strewn about the room.
Despite this, Gilbert nods with a small smile and closes the tome on his lap with a noticeable clap. He releases a long sigh as he holds the book against his chest. “Indeed, it has been a whole day,” he states with his eyes closed. “Are you prepared, then?” he asks, his voice low and steady.
“Yes,” Khimi mumbles, looking up and around at the endless ceiling above them. “But… are we doing the trial here?”
Gilbert nods again, tilting his head slowly and purposefully. “The trial will take place in my library.”
Lumi can’t help but ask anxiously, “Is your library the inner sanctum?”
“The very same,” Gilbert replies, a hint of amusement in his tone. “Why do you ask? Is it due to the sudden calm and quiet in your mind?”
“I-I don’t usually hear the gods speaking loudly,” Lumi confesses, his ears twitching with nervousness. “Is that normal?”
“When it comes to the gods, whose to say what is normal?” Gilbert muses. “However, I believe their voices will grow louder with time.” He rises slowly from his chair, leaning on his cane for support. “Now, let’s move on to the trial itself. But before we start, I must ask again: are you both certain that this is what you want? To undertake the trials of the gods? It’s not too late to turn back.”
“Turn back?!” Lumi snaps. “How can we possibly turn back now? We’ve come this far!”
“Once you begin, it will be expected of you to appear before the other chosen,” Gilbert explains calmly. “That is, if you can pass the first trial.”
Khimi lets out a humorless laugh and rests his hand on the hilt of his shamshir. “You said this would be easy,” he reminds Gilbert. “So, what is this trial?”
“Straight to business, just as I expected from Emir Zeybek,” Gilbert remarks. He places the tome on the table, atop a stack of others, and continues, “The trial, as I mentioned before, is simple in concept. You must discover your own story among the countless stories within the my sanctum. But don’t worry; I have complete faith in both of you.”
“How much time do we have?” Lumi whispers, arching an eyebrow.
Gilbert chuckles and leans on his cane. “No, no. There’s no time limit. But, there are residents of the inner sanctum who protect it from nosy visitors. So I’d advise you to be cautious and search with haste.”
“Are the books organized in any sort of order or fashion?” Khimi questions, unable to look past the rows. “They have to be… right?”
“No,” Gilbert laughs. “The books appear and fill the shelves, their authors unknown.”
Lumi huffs and throws his hands up in frustration. “Can you at least describe it?”
“I don’t remember,” Gilbert confesses with a shrug. “I think it might have been red… or gold. With black letters along the spine. Something like that. I think.”
“You d-dont remember?” Lumi asks with an irritated sigh.
“There are many tomes in this library,” Gilbert teases. “Best you start looking.”
“Oh, did we already start?!” Lumi asks before taking off down the center aisle.
“I’ll remain here should you have need of me,” Gilbert mumbles.
Khimi nods at Gilbert and rushes by. “Lumi,” he grumbles, calling after him half a dozen times before needing to trot to catch up.
Lumi abruptly turns on his heels and begins to scour the nearest shelves. His hand glides along rows of books, the words on the spines nothing more than a jumble to him. Still, he can at least read his own name and Khimi’s. He wonders if their story has its own title or if they each have to find their own individual stories.
Each book is bound in leather dyed various shades, from black and brown to striking red. The lettering on most of the books appears to be written in metallic ink, gold or silver. Occasionally, one is written in black ink against the brightly dyed leather.
Khimi approaches him while shaking his head. “What are you even doing? Do you even know what you’re looking for?”
Scoffing, Lumi says, “I have no clue what I’m looking for… but, they all look like names. And our name is probably here too, right? Like… it’s gotta be.”
Khimi steps beside Lumi and pulls a tome from the shelf before them. “They aren’t all names, Lumi. At least not all of these. This one is titled Tooth and Fang,” he mutters, shoving the book back onto the shelf. “Lumi… this could take ages, weeks, years.”
“Ages…?” Lumi mumbles, examining the small section before him. Stepping back, he surveys the aisle. The bookshelves seem endless, stretching as far as the eye can see. “Khimi… this has to be some kind of game or something, right?”
“He doesn’t seem to be in any sort of rush… I’m just concerned that by the time we finish here, what kinds of things will have gone on outside. Time sits still here for us, but everything outside goes on.”
Lumi groans and plants his face against a row of books, knocking them back against the shelf. “I don’t wanna stay here forever! I wanna see Nina and Aleyna!”
“Even Candela?” Khimi asks quietly, walking past him while observing the shelves. “Maybe we can make some patterns of it… cut our time down. I can start on one side, and you do the other.”
“Khimi… I can’t read. It’s hard to even piece these together,” Lumi whispers, his face still pressed against the leather. “Maybe you should teach—”
“Stop it!” Khimi snaps. He takes a deep breath before continuing. “Just try, Lumi. Just try. We don’t have time to wonder what we should be doing differently. Just keep going.”
Lumi turns back to look at Khimi, his eyes narrowed with a flicker of anger. But he presses on all the same. His finger scrolls over row after endless row of books, searching for anything that feels familiar.
***
The hours come and go, at least it feels like hours. The library is disorienting. Lacking any form of natural light, it’s difficult to tell the time of day. Lumi’s arm grows sore from scrolling through the endless rows of books and opts to keep his arms tucked inside his parka.
“I would have thought the gods would have given us something different…”
“Different?” Khimi asks, slamming a codex shut. “Like what?”
Lumi spins on his heels to face Khimi, rapping his knuckles against his cheek. “Like… anything. This is so boring. I’m just looking for a book.”
“It’s our story, don’t you want to read it?”
Lumi throws his hands in the air as a string of garbled nonsense spills from his lips. He takes a deep breath and puts his hands on his hips. “And… how am I supposed to read this book?”
“I can read it to you,” Khimi chuckles, turning back to the shelf. “I plan to teach you… one day. But for now, you’ll just have to listen to my voice.”
“That’s not so bad. I won’t wanna learn to read if you’re reading to me… But I don’t think we should read that book even if we find it. Knowing what comes next. I’ve been thinking about it. I don’t wanna know what will happen to us. Because then, nothing will feel like we have control. It’s not like we have control anyway—you get what I’m saying, right?” Lumi asks, his face scrunched up in thought.
“No, I don’t. But if you don’t want me to read it, I won’t,” Khimi replies with a shallow sigh. “It would be nice, though. Knowing how to handle all of these trials, when we’ll get back to Rhaz—maybe when you’ll have all my babies,” he says with a taunting glance.
Lumi’s releases a sound somewhere between a snort and a giggle. “Oh, I told you,” he begins, pressing a finger against Khimi’s side. “I’m tryin’. I’ve been trying since we met.”
Khimi purses his lips, keeping his composure while he scours the shelf before him. “I don’t think you’ll be getting pregnant from your ass anytime soon,” he whispers playfully. “It doesn’t work that way.”
Lumi throws himself against the shelf beside Khimi, dragging his body along it with a dramatic whine. “But I’m tryin’ for you!”
Khimi’s laughter leaves his lips before he can stop himself. “Let me know when you can work miracles,” he whispers.
“I am a god after all,” Lumi declares with a regal air.
“Not exactly, but near enough, I guess.”
“Ugh, can we take a break?” Lumi pleads, tugging at Khimi’s trousers.
Khimi pushes his hand through Lumi’s hair, then tugs back, forcing Lumi to look into his eyes. “Lumi, we’ve barely even started. Look at how far we’ve gotten,” he says, motioning to where they had started.
“Maybe the trial is just not opening the book,” Lumi whines, “I’ll ask Gilbert.”
“You’re wasting time,” Khimi grumbles, releasing Lumi’s hair.
“I’ll call him, maybe he’ll come. Let’s see…”
“Lumi don’t.”
“GILBERT!” Lumi’s voice booms through the library, across the endless bookshelves. “GILBERT, WE WON’T OPEN THE BOOK. WAS THAT THE TRIAL!? DID WE WIN?”
The disembodied voice echoes around them, while Gilbert’s haughty laughter resonates through the endless rows. “Find the book,” he says, before the laughter fades.
Lumi rolls his eyes at Khimi and leans back against the shelf. “At least he can hear us.”
“I suppose so,” Khimi mutters, then leans forward and tousles Lumi’s hair. He pushes him back toward the bookshelf across the aisle. “Get back to searching. Unless you want to stay here forever.”
Lumi puffs out his cheeks and returns to the shelf, eager to find any book that stands out to him. “How long do you think this is gonna—”
“LUMI!” Khimi grumbles, “please, just concentrate…”
Lumi sighs and continues his search. Book after book, shelf after shelf. Eventually, the sea of texts before him blurs together in a mix of colors. No longer able to focus, Lumi slides his finger along their spines, quickly grabbing random books from the shelf and thrusting them back in place.
After completing an aisle of books, Lumi grumbles and turns to Khimi before they start on a second aisle. They continue bit by bit, as Lumi’s stomach howls with hunger, echoing through the quiet of the library.
In the distance, faint movement. A sudden swish and swoosh. It approaches, growing louder by the moment.
Khimi’s hand reaches for the shamshir at his side, while Lumi looks up at the darkness for the source.
A creature as dark as the endless heights above them crashes onto the towering shelves. Books scatter and spray across the stony floor. The dark talons bend and rip into the wood, breaking through it as if it were made of paper. A guttural cry rings out through the library. The beast’s wings spread out, reaching over the aisle. Its glossy beak snaps at Khimi before it releases another angry squawk.
“Hells!” Khimi calls out, ripping his shamshir from its scabbard. “The guardian?!”
Lumi stands amazed, his eyes trembling with awe. The raven is of monstrous proportions, almost mythical. “W-what is that?”
“The bloody fuck do you think it is?” Khimi growls, swinging his blade against the beast’s attack. “It’s a raven…”
“Raphael,” Gilbert’s disembodied voice corrects suddenly. “The library’s guardian.”
Khimi steps backwards, the great beast pursues from the top of the shelf, book after book falling from the height of the shelves down across the stone.
Lumi is paralyzed, he reaches out to summon his spear, his lips not wanting to move with the incantation swirling in his mind. Khimi calls for him and breaks him from his stasis.
“Look for the book!” Khimi insists, rushing further down the aisle and drawing the creature’s attention.
Taking hold of the swathes of hair at the sides of his head, Lumi tugs in panic. “I-I can’t read!” he shouts down the aisle. “I’ll fight the bird!” His body trembles with panic.
“Like hells you will!” Khimi shouts, intercepting the sharp beak with his blade. “Lumi! Get to work!” His voice fades as he runs along the aisle and into the darkness. The massive beast close behind.
Lumi shouts after Khimi, only to hear Khimi repeatedly shout at him to search for the tome. His heart drums in his chest, the words before him seem to jumble even more under the duress of their situation. Pain shoots through his scalp with each aggressive tug at his hair. Khimi! Khimi! What’re you thinkin’?!
The occasional clang of metal and angry squawks brings a squeal of panic from his lips. Breath after breath, he forces himself to calm down. With both hands on the shelves, he begins to study the words before him.
Section after section he searches, shoving books onto the floor in his haste to glance at the covers. His breath hitches in fear after another loud clang and crash.
“Help me!” Lumi snaps under his breath. “Y’sol. Isha… ANYONE!”
The faint tap along the aisle brings a gasp to Lumi’s lips. “Gilbert?!”
Gilbert’s dark hair falls over his shoulder, a look of understanding on his face. He rubs his brow and surveys the mess scattered across the floor. “Now look at what you’ve done.”
Lumi shifts uneasily from the shelf and braces himself, taking a wide stance with his arms raised in anticipation of the saint’s next move. “I-I don’t want to fight you,” he stammers. “You wanted us separated! You sent the bird!”
Gilbert lets out a heavy sigh and bends down to pick up a tome. He dusts off the cover before putting it back on the shelf, confident of its original place. “Fight you? That wouldn’t be fair. I’m an old man.”
Lumi scoffs. “You’re a saint! Don’t lie about what you can do…”
“Physically? You could likely take me… but when it comes to understanding and controlling our divine gifts, you wouldn’t last a second. However, I’m not here to fight you, Lumi. It’s true; I needed a moment alone with you to share knowledge, a warning,” Gilbert begins, stepping closer.
Lumi edges backwards, kicking the books behind his feet away. “What is it? What is the warning?”
Gilbert approaches all the same, his form towering over Lumi. He looks down his nose, his piercing eyes glaring through him. “We can speak honestly here. The sanctum is shielded from the gods; our words here are private, and our thoughts are safeguarded. These places are designed for us to find peace, a moment of solace.”
“J-just spit it out!” Lumi whispers, his tail rising behind him with an aggressive rattle. “What’re you saying?”
“Love. It drives some of our strongest emotions. Yet, it is a blade that cuts both ways. More often than not, both the wielder and the victim suffer from its sharpness,” Gilbert whispers with a nod. “This is not something you should forget, Lumi. And don’t think for a second that the gods are ignorant of it, either.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” Lumi whispers, relaxing his stance as Gilbert stands just before him. “Why not with Khimi?”
“Because Khimi is an intellectual, these words will bear too much weight on his mind. They will consume—”
“I’m not stupid,” Lumi protests, lowering his head. “I just… I don’t know anything!”
“You’re not listening…” Gilbert scolds, his voice trailing as he looks past Lumi and down the aisle. “You must understand; it is your duty to obey the gods. You must! But, happiness only comes to those who seek it. I once loved like you… but my thirst for knowledge consumed me. By the time I left the bastion, my love had already departed this realm. The gods felt nothing for my plight, nor for the loss of my love; instead, they urged me to carry on. I made a promise to the gods that if they brought back my beloved, I would follow their every whim. So I have been bound to their service until I expire by their divine will.”
“But… Y’sol likes Khimi. Isha—”
“Your gods will weave whatever story serves their purpose to earn your trust; they need you. They want you to depend on them. And you must, or else… they will find a way to take everything from you. Even if it is not within their direct capabilities,” Gilbert says, gripping Lumi’s shoulder and shaking him. “The love you hold for Khimi, I can sense it. I’ve read it. I have witnessed your story, every intimate detail.”
Lumi’s heart pounds louder, the blood rushing through his ears. His cheeks flush with heat as bile rises in his throat. “Y-your gods aren’t my gods! They care about Khimi… they want us to be together! They helped save him,” he says in disbelief. “They helped us!”
“Because it furthered their goals, Lumi. Just think about it,” Gilbert says, looking past Lumi again. “I just need you to understand what I’m saying. I need you to promise me that you’ll think about it?”
Lumi nods quickly and looks back over his shoulder. The aisle is still dark, with scraps of wood and books scattered across the floor. “I understand. Well, I don’t, but I’ll try.”
Gilbert sighs, “Little sun. The gods… are not infallible. They were once people, you know? Just like you or me. They were said to be the first saints of Talmus. Individuals who had gathered the faith and belief of the people behind their will and ideals.” He pauses, closing his eyes while his fingers tighten on the cane. “But just because people have faith in someone, or they believe in them, does not mean they are without fault, without sin. It doesn’t mean they hid aspects of themselves in the shadows that they were not proud of showing in the light.”
“But they’re gods?” Lumi whispers, incredulous. “Gods…”
“Their time as gods has distanced them from the people they once were. They seem cold and aloof. Some fail to understand the common man,” Gilbert replies, a slow smile spreading across his lips. “Many of the chosen are aware of this. Yet, we do not discuss it. The thought is too heretical for anyone to mention outside the safety of the sanctum. Imagine how the Faith—”
Lumi’s eyes start to well up with tears. “Don’t… I don’t want to know anymore. I can’t. The only reason I’m alive is because of them. The only reason I met Khimi is because of the gods!” He slaps Gilbert’s hand from his shoulder. “Is this your trial?!” he yells. “Is this a test?! Are you trying to turn me against—” He stops himself, his breath escaping through his clenched teeth.
“Lumi?” Gilbert whispers, “listen to—”
“No!” Lumi shouts. “What you’re saying makes no sense! Nina never said any of this!”
“You are too young to understand—”
“You’re lying! People need the gods. The gods protect us. People need us to guide them!” Lumi shouts, his face tinged with color. “W-what you’re saying is wrong!”
“Calm down,” Gilbert grumbles, reaching back to place a hand on Lumi’s shoulder, only to have it swatted away again. “People need the gods. They need the Faith. Without it, they are lost. They need you, Lumi. The Faith provides hope for the populace. It offers something for the faithful to believe in. But if you want to achieve your goals, it’s crucial that you remember what I told you.”
Taking hold of Gilbert’s robes, Lumi grips the fabric and pulls himself closer. The heat in Lumi’s eyes shows in the crimson flare spreading through them. “Y-you can’t just leave something like this on me!” His fingers twist the smooth fabric. “How could you even be a saint if you feel that way… ?”
Gilbert holds his gaze, and his hand finally finds Lumi’s shoulder. “It’s best not to place the gods on a pedestal… if you remember anything I’ve said, at least remember that.”
Lumi’s lips curl into a snarl. “Answer me!” he demands, shaking Gilbert with growing anger.
“Because the gods need their voice,” Gilbert responds gently. “Because I fear who else might be chosen.”
“For someone who’s supposed to know everything, you sure give shit answers,” Lumi replies, shoving against Gilbert.
Gilbert remains still, a stoic expression on his face. His hand glides along Lumi’s shoulder and to the top of his head. “What comes next for you both will be the greatest and most dangerous journey of your lives. I only sought to provide you guidance, support, and insight that you would otherwise never have.”
Lumi studies Gilbert’s expression. His breathing gradually steadies. “Why did you even agree to help us? I just don’t get it.”
“This life is lonely—a common theme among the chosen. Some live in solitude, while others bury themselves in crowds to drown their sorrow. But in their hearts, they know. Our hearts, our souls will always belong to the gods. Yet, you have a chance for something beyond what awaits us. You can provide hope to us. That our stories don’t have to be filled with the solitude to which we have been sworn,” Gilbert whispers, brushing his fingers through Lumi’s hair. “You can bring us hope, little sun.”
Lumi looks down at his feet, wet streaks along his cheeks drip down onto the scattered pages. “That’s… a-a lot of pressure,” he chokes, “what if we fail? What if the other—”
“Don’t worry about failure, worry about making the journey first,” Gilbert whispers, releasing Lumi and reaching into his robe. He procures a tome bound in indigo-dyed leather from beneath the shadows of his open robe. Along the front, on either side of the indiscernible script, is an image stamped in gold leaf. A youthful lion and a bull, staring at one another across a gap of jumbled letters.
Lumi tilts his head up at Gilbert, the tears in his eyes blurring his vision. “This is it? You had it the whole time… ?”
“I told you, Lumi. This trial will be one of your easiest. Now, take it,” Gilbert whispers, holding the thick tome between them.
Lumi shakes his head, saying, “I don’t want Khimi to read it… we shouldn’t read it.”
Gilbert smiles. “You’re right. This book isn’t meant for either of your eyes. One day, you will live the things within these pages, learn from your experiences, and love each other as you do here.” He leans his cane against the nearby shelf and taps his fingers against the cover. “Look at this, and tell me what you see.”
“A lion and a bull, and some script along the page,” Lumi whispers, taking hold of the book with both hands. The thickness of the volume surprises him; from cover to back, he cannot reach around it. “What does it say?”
“A Journey of Fate,” Gilbert whispers, tapping his hand on the cover again. “Talman astrologers often look to the bull and the lion among the stars to find their way. When Nina first contacted me, I began to study your story.” He rubs his thumb across the leather cover. “The stars are something we still understand little about. Each of them tells a story.” He pauses and taps his fingers on the figures on the front. “These stars are your stars. And here,” he whispers, his finger resting between the two figures, “this one is—”
“Stella Solaris…”
“You don’t need to read this to finish your journey. When your light dims, when the story grows dark, look to one another, Lumi,” Gilbert says, carefully taking the tome from Lumi’s hands. “Look to the stars.”
Another crash in the distance rings out. The buckling creak of the wooden shelves, the steady and constant falling of the books across the stony floor. Lumi looks back for the source, watching the sight of flames erupt periodically through the darkness.
“That’s rich,” Gilbert mumbles under his breath. “I’d expect the Saint of Flames to burn down my library, not his lover.”
“Will he be alright?” Lumi questions. “That raven. He wa–”
“Raphael,” Gilbert corrects, clearing his throat and raising his cane before bringing it down onto the stone floor with a resounding tap. The floor rumbles, and the shelves shift slightly, imbued with a magickal aura. “What we discussed, remember to keep it to yourself,” he whispers, giving another nod of his head.
The sound of Khimi’s blade swishing in the distance fades, and within a few moments, Lumi hears Khimi’s boots against the stone. He sighs and relaxes at the sight of Khimi emerging from the depths of the aisle.
“Lumi!” he yells, sliding his flaming shamshir back into the scabbard. “What happened?”
Lumi starts to speak, but Gilbert interrupts him, shouting, “Lumi managed to get his hands on the tome a little while ago. So, I called Raphael back.”
“He just vanished… I was worried that something happened to Lumi,” Khimi pants, his hand still tight on the hilt of his shamshir.
Gilbert approaches Khimi, stepping past Lumi. He gives Lumi a look out of the corner of his eyes. “Though, there is something you should both hear now that you have completed the first trial.”
“Where is the book, Lumi?” Khimi asks, his breathing ragged from running.
Lumi stammers, looking to Gilbert for support.
“It’s taken care of. The book was never meant to be read by your eyes, it was merely part of the trial.”
“So you were right?” Khimi questions, raising his brow at Lumi. “Look at that,” he mumbles, placing his hands on his hip and relinquishing a deep breath. “So that’s it? We did it? Just like that?”
“Just like that,” Gilbert laughs, clapping a hand on Khimi’s shoulder. “Now all that remains is for me to give you my blessing,” he whispers, tightening his grip with a thorough shake.
“Blessing?” Lumi asks, “What type of blessing?”
“Every order is different in how they give their blessings. Ours here is simple. I will mark you both with sacred ink from an ancient relic of our—”
“I-is it permanent?!” Lumi wonders aloud. “I don’t have any markings like the other aslan—”
“No,” Gilbert says, “it’s just a simple thing. A smudge of ink across your forehead to represent your connection to the order. Once it washes away, the physical manifestation may not be present, but you will know that our order will always be with you.”
Khimi bows his head in gratitude, and Lumi mimics his gesture. “We appreciate your kindness,” Khimi states, lifting his head to smile brightly at Lumi. “Though your beast was… a worthy foe.”
Gilbert chortles while waving a dismissive hand before him. “He is a fat old bird, hardly anything difficult for someone as young and spry as yourself.”
Khimi raises an eyebrow. “Now you’re making me feel weak.”
Lumi glides past Gilbert and pushes his hand between Khimi’s arm, pivoting on his toes to face Gilbert again. “When can we do the blessing?”
“There’s no rush,” Gilbert begins softly. “You can stay here at the bastion for as long as you want, though I know in my heart that you won’t be guests here for long. Would you prefer to have the ritual performed with your friends as witnesses, or would you feel more comfortable having it done in private?”
Lumi’s expression softens as he gazes up at Khimi for guidance. “Khimi, what do you wanna do?”
Khimi looks thoughtfully into Lumi’s eyes. “What if it was just Ennui?”
“Why just Ennui?” Lumi wonders, his fingers intertwining between Khimi’s.
Khimi glances at Gilbert and then back at Lumi. “Because… I have a feeling that Ennui will always be there for us,” he whispers. Once we get back to Rhaz, I suspect Nina may ask Mido and Augustus to return to the temple. Ennui will always be there.”
“She’s so mean,” Lumi croaks, before sighing and looking back at Gilbert. “We’d like to have one of our friends join us, if that’s alright?”
“For the devil herself to bear witness to the blessing of the gods. How curious,” Gilbert replies, a smirk playing on his lips. “It is an unorthodox request, but I suppose it is not entirely unprecedented.” He ponders for a moment, his eyes flickering between Khimi and Lumi. “Very well,” he finally says, his voice tinged with curiosity. “Ennui shall be present at the blessing.”
Lumi’s face lights up with relief and excitement. He leans into Khimi, pressing their bodies close together. “Thank you! Thank you!”
Gilbert chuckles softly, the sound resonating through the darkness. “I cannot deny the peculiar charm of this arrangement. The gods may find it amusing as well.”
Blessing of Truth
As the days go by, the once-quiet halls of the bastion come alive in preparation for the ceremony. Lumi and Khimi are summoned to stand before a set of towering doors. Lumi paces back and forth, fingers fidgeting with the ends of his tunic. Behind him, Ennui’s tail mirrors his movements. Back and forth, back and forth against the floor—Tap, tap, tap, tap. Khimi, meanwhile, sits calmly beside the door in a simple tunic, his back pressed against the stone wall. Rashid’s shamshir rests against his shoulder as he pinches his eyes closed tight.
Khimi opens one eye slightly and mutters, “Stop pacing.” Annoyance seeps into his voice. “It’s exhausting.”
Lumi lets out an exasperated sigh and sinks onto the stony floor beside him, scratching at the golden choker around his neck. “I can’t help it! What else am I supposed to do?”
“Sleep. Rest. Do anything else,” Khimi exhales, trying for patience but failing.
Ennui approaches them both and takes a seat in front of them, folding her legs. “Is this truly what you both want? You know… this journey won’t be easy; it’s going to take forever, too.”
Khimi leans back against the wall, his eyes on the domed ceiling above them. The space shimmers with a soft glow from sunlight filtering through stained-glass windows, giving it an almost heavenly propensity. The rotunda’s stone is lighter than the dark gray stones that make up most of the bastion, gleaming white.
Lumi swallows, his lips parting as if to speak, but no words come. He turns to Khimi instead, waiting—hoping—he’ll answer for them. And he does.
“Nothing worth having comes easy,” Khimi murmurs, gaze still fixed on the ceiling.
Ennui sneers, following his stare to the gold script above them. Lumi knows what it is meant to depict—Elysium, a place he, as a beastkin, could never hope to see. “You’ll be the most blessed individuals in Talmus by the time this is over,” she says dryly.
Khimi closes his eyes and leans his head against Lumi’s, whispering, “If the gods approve of our union… this is what I want. I’ve always longed to see the world again. Experiencing it all with Lumi just makes it even better.” He brushes his lips against Lumi’s thick, rounded ears. “Don’t you agree?”
Lumi nods vigorously, ears flicking under Khimi’s chin resting between his ears. “Of course,” he whispers comfortingly, looking up at Khimi with a grin.
Ennui snorts and mutters, “Yes, well… we’ll see what the gods have to say about the two of you being together. Maybe they’ll strip away your gifts once they realize just how much of a perverted little lion you really are.”
Lumi smirks and leans forward, reaching for the tip of Ennui’s tail. His fingers wrap around the pointed end. “The gods already know everything about us,” he teases, running his thumb and forefinger along the strange texture.
Ennui scoffs and jerks her tail from Lumi’s grip. “The gods have no idea what they’ve gotten themselves into.”
“Maybe so,” Khimi murmurs as he settles back against the stone wall. “But at least Lumi follows their will. They have nothing to worry about.”
“Do you think your gods will let you roam freely across the realm?” Ennui asks, watching Lumi’s rattling tail.
“As long as I do what they want,” Lumi replies, crossing his arms and leaning against Khimi, “I don’t see why not.”
“And what do they want from you now?” Ennui asks, rocking back and forth on her heels.
Lumi glances at Khimi before answering, “I don’t know. They just told me to grow stronger. So I guess I’ll just keep gettin’ stronger.”
Ennui shakes her head. “I’ve only ever spoken to one saint at length… and let’s just say it didn’t end well.”
“Davani?” Khimi mumbles, recalling her earlier encounter in Sidi.
Ennui hums to herself, her fingers tapping an absent rhythm on her thigh. “I only spoke with her briefly,” she explains, her eyes fixed on a distant point. “Even at your mother’s little party for the new Emir Zeybek, she only ever shot angry glances at me.”
“What about Nina?” Lumi whispers curiously, tilting his head in confusion.
“Don’t know,” Ennui replies, a hint of annoyance in her voice. “I can’t say I’ve ever met her either. Maybe we’ve crossed paths briefly. But Kaeva… I met her years ago. Their troupe was traveling through the southern reaches of Loria. I was just a young girl back then… if fate had been kinder, perhaps I would have stayed with them. But things didn’t turn out that way.”
Lumi nods slowly, his mind processing the information. “Wow… that must have been forever ago,” he reflects aloud.
Ennui’s mouth drops open in shock, and before Lumi can react, she swings at him with astonishing speed. “Are you calling me old?” she growls, her eyes narrowing playfully.
Lumi chuckles nervously and quickly moves closer to Khimi, seeking refuge behind him. His tail tucks under his legs as he mumbles, “No, no! I just meant it must have been a long time ago!”
“Same difference,” Ennui grumbles, still not entirely convinced.
“Cut it out,” Khimi interjects with a commanding tone. “We need to look presentable.”
Ennui lets out an exasperated sigh but reluctantly follows Khimi’s command. “If those tunics they gave you are what passes for presentable,” she remarks, gesturing to their simple and worn attire, “then I don’t think anything else matters much. You both look like sacks of—”
The door beside them creaks open slowly, a beam of bright light flooding into the rotunda. Khimi stands first, pulling Lumi to his feet. Ennui remains seated, shielding her eyes from the sudden brightness. As the door opens fully, Gilbert appears in the doorway. His dark, billowing robes are richly patterned, standing out sharply against the stark white light pouring in behind him. His cane echoes off the tile as he takes a few slow steps forward. The raven on his shoulder squawks loudly before taking flight across the rotunda.
Gilbert pauses, surveying them with a slow smile spreading across his lips. “You both look stunning,” he says with a cheerful grin.
Khimi responds quickly, “I had expected more elaborate ceremonial garb…”
“Elaborate?” Gilbert muses. “Not at all. The simplicity of your attire allows you to focus solely on each other without suffering distractions.”
Ennui rises from the floor and gracefully straightens her posture. The tip of her tail cracks through the air behind her like a whip, commanding his attention.
“You must be the infamous Ennui,” Gilbert says, his tone filled with admiration. “My gods have taken note of your tales. I’d like to speak with you before your departure.”
Ennui snorts in response. “Hopefully they depict my better qualities. I cannot say I am thrilled to hear that the Saint of Truth has heard of me.”
Gilbert motions to Lumi and Khimi. “I did read their story, after all. And I have to say… the devil played a rather significant role.”
A playful glint sparkles in Ennui’s eyes as she runs her fingers through her hair. “Hear that, boys? The devil is part of your story.”
Lumi rolls his eyes with a sigh. “Maybe you could show a little more kindness once in a while? After all, you’re part of our story.”
Ennui purses her lips and hums in thought. “Unlikely.”
Khimi chuckles and steps behind Lumi, his fingertips softly tracing the nape of his neck before trailing down to the small of his back. “Would it be so difficult for you to show a bit of kindness towards him?” His golden earrings shine in the light as he tilts his head.
Gilbert leans on his cane and claps his hands together. “It seems you two will have much to discuss later.”
Ennui pushes past Khimi, giving his shoulder a playful nudge. “Sure, since you asked so kindly,” she whispers with a sly grin. “I’ll be sweet to your little lion.”
They follow Ennui into a room bathed in blinding bright light pouring in from the towering windows on both sides. The light itself seems intentional, too perfect to be natural. All across the room, the light illuminates magnificent white stone benches and columns. At the front of the sanctuary stands an altar of dark stone, as black as jet. It absorbs the light, drawing their attention. Along the wall behind it, floor-to-ceiling mosaic tiles in myriad colors shimmer against the radiant light.
“Ya sure this isn’t the inner sanctum?” Lumi asks, stepping through the room and taking Khimi’s hand.
Khimi walks alongside Lumi, one hand holding his while the other grips the shamshir tightly. “This is magick, I suppose,” he mutters to himself.
Ennui approaches the altar and veers to the side, turning back to them with a mocking bow. “So how does this thing start?” she asks, nearly shouting across the room to Gilbert.
The doors slam shut behind Gilbert with a loud bang. He folds his robe across his chest as he crosses the distance to the altar. “It’s simple, just like that,” he snaps his fingers. “It will be over just as quickly as it started.”
Lumi approaches the altar, curiosity overtaking him despite Khimi’s warning looks from Khimi. “You said there was ink?” he asks, scanning the surface for an inkwell.
Khimi sets his shamshir down next to the column across from Ennui, “Lumi, wait just a sec—”
Without hesitation, Lumi slaps his hands onto the dark structure. The wetness of it catches him off guard, and he recoils, his hands now coated in deep black ink. Letting out a groan, he moves to wipe his hands on his tunic before Khimi grabs his wrists and stops him just in time.
A sound of frustration escapes Khimi’s lips as he clicks his tongue in disapproval. “Lumi,” he scolds gently, shaking his head. “Don’t think you should’ve touched that.”
Gilbert clears his throat, drawing their attention back to him. “That is one of our sacred relics,” he explains, gesturing towards the altar. “The ink from this altar flows eternally. Those who touch it are bound to the truth until it fades.” He steps past them, his cane pointed at Ennui.
Ennui takes the object with a sly grin, twirling it in her fingers before launching it into the air. “So, Lumi, tell us true,” she taunts, her voice laced with malice. “Is it Khimi you love, or just his cock?”
Lumi’s expression shifts to one of discomfort as he casts a pleading glance at Gilbert. “Both,” he confesses in a hushed tone. “Why? Why do you have to be so cruel, Ennui?”
Ennui simply chuckles and leans against a nearby column, watching the scene unfold with delight in her eyes. “Does it hurt?” she prods, gesturing at Khimi’s body. “Taking such a cock up your tiny ass?”
Gilbert shakes his head, sighing as he gazes down at Lumi. “Just answer her question honestly,” he urges. “It’ll go by faster.”
Khimi can no longer hold back his laughter. “That’s enough, Ennui,” he finally interrupts.
But Ennui is undeterred, continuing to prod and tease until Lumi’s patience finally snaps, causing him to yank himself away from Khimi’s grasp.
Gilbert sneers at Ennui, reaching into his robes for something concealed within. “Shall we mark you with the sacred ink too?” he taunts, a malicious glint shining in his eye.
Ennui grumbles while twirling Gilbert’s gnarled cane between her slender fingers. Her eyes flicker with annoyance as she replies, “No thanks. I’d rather not be forced to tell the truth. If you don’t mind, of course.”
Gilbert’s response remains calm: “It doesn’t bother me, but maybe it would be kind for the sake of your friends.”
Khimi adds his playful jab, saying, “Yes, Ennui. Do it for our sake, so we can hear about all your daring exploits.”
Lumi chimes in with a teasing grin, “Yeah! Mamir was about to tell me something juicy until he saw you and clammed up.”
Ennui leans back against a white column and laughs heartily. “Good. Mamir had better keep his mouth shut if he knows what’s best for him.”
“If that’s everything,” Gilbert glances between them, nodding in confirmation. “Then we’re all set.”
Standing tall behind the altar, Gilbert beckons their approach. Determined, he rummages through his robe until he finally retrieves what he had been searching for—a brush. The handle is carved from pure white stone and encircled with golden rings spiraling down its length.
“Do you both understand your roles in this ritual?” Gilbert asks softly.
Khimi and Lumi stand side by side, their hands intertwined as they face each other. Ink smears between their palms. Khimi’s pulse thrums through his hand into Lumi’s, igniting a heat within him. With a reverent touch, Gilbert pushes back Khimi’s hair from his brow, whispering an incantation under his breath. As he does so, the ink along the brush glows with an iridescent sheen. In one swift motion, he sweeps the tip of the brush across the center of Khimi’s forehead, leaving behind a trail of glistening ink that drips over his closed eyes.
He then turns to Lumi, offering a reassuring smile before placing a hand beneath the tip of the brush. They share a silent conversation before he gently presses the brush against Lumi’s forehead. The ink feels cold on his skin but oddly comforting. With each carefully enunciated syllable of Gilbert’s incantation, Lumi senses the tip of the brush gliding across his forehead, leaving behind a trail of inky tendrils. This marks the beginning of their journey together, and Lumi realizes that as the brush moves across his forehead, they are forever bound to it.
As Gilbert finishes his incantation in Common, his words seem to linger, imbued with a sense of purpose. “And may the Gods of Truth and Knowledge love and protect you on your journey,” he intones as he steps back from them, chuckling to himself. “I can see the joy you bring to one another,” he whispers, thoughtfully placing the butt of the brush against his chin.
Ennui, the master instigator, taps the cane against the floor as she speaks. “Hey Khimi, how many people have you fucked?”
Khimi sighs as both Gilbert and Lumi turn their heads to her. Lumi’s heart flutters in surprise. He always believed Khimi when he said he had no prior partners before him, but under the compulsion of the relic, he couldn’t help but wonder if Khimi’s answer would differ.
“You already know the answer to that,” Khimi responds firmly, his fingers tightening around Lumi’s hand. “Just Lumi. And you already knew that!”
Ennui smiles and shrugs. “We were estranged,” she says casually. “I didn’t know if you slept around a bit, or maybe just stuck with watching in brothels.”
Gilbert turns to the altar, the brush dripping with ink as he speaks. “I suddenly understand your reluctance to invite anyone, Lumi,” he says with a hint of sympathy. “Such aggressive questions must trigger deep feelings in your heart, no?”
Lumi’s voice is so soft it can barely be heard over the dripping ink between his and Khimi’s hands. “Sure… but Ennui always says what pops into her mind,” he explains. “I just… thought maybe she knew something I didn’t.”
Khimi’s grip tightens, the ink squelching between their palms. “You thought I’d lie about something like that?” he asks, a strain in his voice.
Lost for words, Lumi shifts his gaze down at his feet. “We had only met when I asked. I thought maybe you were being cautious,” he admits softly, his jaw nearly trembling. “I didn’t want to ask again or push anymore about it. I didn’t tell you everything, remember?”
Khimi sighs and runs his fingers through his hair with his spare hand, accidentally smudging the ink on his forehead. “Lumi, you could have just asked,” he says gently. “I would have told you.”
“I-it doesn’t matter, I always believed you!” Lumi mumbles in response, pushing against Khimi. “It’s just different knowing that you can’t lie… then all that stuff with Jilliana.”
“Lumi…”
Gilbert interrupts their conversation by announcing the ceremony’s conclusion. Though if you need a moment to gather yourselves,” he offers kindly, “Ennui and I can leave you both in peace.”
“We will, huh?” Ennui’s voice is filled with disappointment as she questions, tilting the ornate cane back to Gilbert while he carefully places the brush back into his pocket. “Things were just getting spicy.”
Taking the cane from Ennui, Gilbert then firmly grasps her jacket and pulls her along by the scruff through the center aisle. He glances back at them briefly. “Whenever you’re ready, we put something together for you in the dining hall.”
Ennui’s eyes widen in surprise and excitement. “Really? It’s already over? Just like that? What kind of ceremony…”
“I did say it would be quick. Besides, you and I must have words,” Gilbert snorts smugly, ushering her through the doors. He pauses before stepping out and turns back to them. “And… one last thing. Your friend’s family are in Winterholt. As I anticipated.”
Lumi nods and thanks Gilbert as the doors close behind them. He turns back to look up at Khimi, the dark ink smeared across his brow making him appear like a warrior. Worriedly, he whispers, “I’m sorry.” His eyes glisten with unshed tears as he continues, “I didn’t… I didn’t think you lied to me.”
“Lumi, why would you even think there would be a—”
“Because of Jilliana!” Lumi snaps, hanging his head in shame. He can feel the heat rising in his cheeks, and the anger at the thought makes his blood boil. “I— I can’t…” His voice trails off as he struggles to find the words. “I can’t! I can’t imagine anyone else touching you,” he finally says, tightening his grip on Khimi with each word. “I hate her! I hate her!” Tears stream down his face as he confesses, his emotions raw and overwhelming. “What she did to you… gods punish her!”
Khimi tenderly strokes Lumi’s cheek, the dark ink of his fingers leaving a faint mark on Lumi’s skin. This gentle caress brings comfort and warmth to Lumi’s heart, but also fills it with worry.
“And what did she mean… about brothels?” Lumi asks, unable to hide the concern in his voice.
Khimi’s skin flushes a deeper shade. “It is a bit shameful,” he murmurs, still holding Lumi’s face in his hand.
“I wanna know,” Lumi insists firmly. “I need to know everything.”
Khimi bites his lip, appearing to contemplate how to phrase his response. “When I was a mercenary, there were often proposals from men and women seeking my company. But I never gave in to temptation or shared a bed with anyone. As a Zeybek, I wanted to preserve our name and lineage. I didn’t want any potential bastards coming after me once they discovered who I truly was. Or anyone trying to blackmail me for that matter.”
Lumi wipes away tears with the back of his hand. “But… what about the men? It couldn’t have been possible for them—”
“Lumi,” Khimi whispers gently, forcing himself to chuckle as he repeats the name again and again. “We cannot deny the parts of ourselves that we may not like. At that point in my life, I could not accept that I desired a different kind of love than just producing ten sons for Aleyna and Ziad. My struggles might have been resolved if I had simply accepted my duty and had children who would one day lead the Cerulean Star. But instead, I was born different, with different desires.”
“Khimi—”
“I visited brothels across the Desert Cities, watching others freely embrace their desires while secretly wishing I could do the same.” Khimi interrupts. “But aren’t you happy?” he asks softly, searching Lumi’s face. “Knowing that you are what I want. I like to think… perhaps there was a reason I struggled for so long.”
Tears stream down Lumi’s cheeks, yet he manages to smile through them. “You’re so much better than me,” he whispers, overwhelmed by his emotions.
“Better than you? What makes you think that?” Khimi moves closer, their bodies pressed tightly together.
The dark ink on Lumi’s palm streaks across Khimi’s garment, staining the pristine white fabric. “You know why,” Lumi replies, his face buried in Khimi’s chest as he clings to him.
“Whatever happened before, you had no control over it,” Khimi says, his voice carrying an edge. He leans closer to Lumi, his lips brushing against the tender skin between Lumi’s ears. “Your brother, your tribe… you shouldn’t let that define you.” His words are low and hungry as he continues, “You were made for me, you know. You can feel it in your heart.” His hand glides over Lumi’s shoulders and down to his waist, drawing him even closer. “You said as much, didn’t you?”
Lumi chokes back tears and lets out a shaky laugh as he wipes the wetness on his nose against Khimi’s chest. “I can feel it everywhere,” he murmurs, overcome with love.
The fabric along Lumi’s waist is stained with dark ink, and Khimi’s grip crinkles the edges of Lumi’s tunic as he pulls it up the boy’s body, revealing his slender frame beneath. With a possessive tone in his voice, Khimi sinks his teeth into Lumi’s thick ear. His hand boldly explores beneath the tunic, tracing the smooth lines of his waist.
“You’ll only ever be mine,” Khimi whispers, his lips grazing Lumi’s skin. “I’d sin a thousand times, and a thousand more, to be with you.”
Lumi gazes at Khimi with sudden intensity, meeting his lover’s lips with a fierce passion. The sensation of Khimi’s hands against his bare skin makes him forget the ink staining them both. All he wants is Khimi—the possessiveness, the aggression, the anger, the love, the desire, the need. He craves everything that Khimi offers and will stop at nothing to embrace it all, to embrace him completely.