Captain
Khimi’s attempt at finding a vessel is largely unsuccessful. Rumors of deadly storms had left every captain and sailor scared of making the voyage along the Lorian coast. The storms had been said to originate from the Lorian Sea, creating a dangerous journey to the North.
Khimi feels a sense of relief at the delay in their departure. Though he is restless to leave, there is also an untold amount of work to be done before his planned departure. And although he had despised his time at the estate, he knew he would grow complacent with the constant creature comforts that are offered. He yearns for the days in which he could travel about the Desert Cities, and perhaps even into the Dolman Empire.
Ennui glides beside Khimi on the wharf. “You know…we don’t need to bring them. The cleric and the Lorian.”
Khimi nods, glancing at Ennui out of the corner of his eye. “I had been thinking about that. But they have their uses.”
Folding her arms, Ennui sighs. “Mido seems to be fairly capable, but I have yet to see the other one do anything except sit around and drink.”
“He’s humorous at least,” Khimi mutters. “But he’s certainly lazy…and if things come down to it. At least he’s another body.”
Ennui snickers, “Ever the pragmatic one. You best hope he won’t turn tail and run when things get rough. At least you have the brains to know the Lorian shouldn’t be trusted.”
Khimi turns his golden earring between his fingers. “I don’t know if he shouldn’t be trusted,” he says as his eyes glance over the vessels. “But I doubt he’s capable of much…he seems to be just another spoiled Lorian noble.”
“We can leave them behind…though I think that eg– Mido might need to come with us.”
Khimi itches his cheek while he walks. “We’ll see how well they handle themselves on the voyage first. If it comes down to it, we’ll be closer to Loria along the way. They can return to the capital.”
***
For nearly two hours, Khimi and Ennui scour the docks for a vessel unsuccessfully. Tarse, a small coastal town outside Sidi, is situated beside the Sidian harbor, but is far enough away to keep its own independence. There is hope that some merchant or sailing vessel would be making the journey to the Golden Isles, then from there they would head to the north.
After a lengthy pause, Khimi mutters, “As long as Mido and Augustus are with us, then we will have Nina’s guidance. Ennui, we may need them…so that we can protect Lumi.”
Ennui’s eyes pinch closed. “Khimi,” she mutters and waves her hands enthusiastically before her. “You’re a smart lad and all, bu–.”
“What? Do you think it’ll be better with just the three of us?” Khimi asks, looking past her at the small vessels moored outside the harbor.
Ennui nods slowly, seemingly reading Khimi’s expression. “I think Nina has her own reasons for sending them. I doubt she has nefarious purposes…but why would she send two novices? She has hundreds, if not thousands, of experienced soldiers and clerics at her disposal. Not to mention, she could appeal to any member of the Faith.”
Khimi releases a heavy sigh. “What you’re saying makes sense, and I have even contemplated the sincerity behind her wishes. I, too, get the sense that she isn’t being completely forthright, but perhaps she sees value in them that we cannot.”
“Care to speak of what happened with Mido? While certainly you and Augustus seem friendly…you still seem at odds with him?” Ennui asks, with a skeptical stare.
“It was something from back when Lumi first met them,” He insists with a shake of his head. “Lumi seems to think Mido is over it, so I will let it pass for now. But Lumi is naive so I still canno—”
“That makes sense,” Ennui croaks suddenly, raising her face to the sun and smiles from the corner of her eyes. “The canis has a crush on your boy.”
“Had,” Khimi corrects.
Ennui’s words, though playful in nature, cause him to grip the handle of his shamshir. Fury and heat wells within him until his vision is almost spotted. His lips thin, and he shakes his head, wanting to be free of the intrusive thoughts delving into his mind.
“Never speak of that again,” Khimi mumbles after a moment.
Ennui blows air through her lips. “Khimi, you have nothing to fear. Lumi’s obsession with you is far greater than anything you can imagine,” she finishes with a chuckle. “Is that why you had me supervising them every moment together? Because you are envious?”
“I’m not envious.”
Ennui sighs and takes a step closer to Khimi. Her hand claps onto his shoulder. “Khimi, while surely I thought after that whole thing with that Lorian woman…and watching your little argument that things were not going to work out between you two. You then somehow did some magick with that bull cock of yours, and now you have a boy who never wants to leave your side.”
Khimi lowers his head, a shallow laugh leaves his lips. “You didn’t have to say it like that,” he whispers.
“I mean…everyone in the estate said the noises coming from your room were enough to alert the city guards,” she continues, then mimics Lumi’s moans.
“Hells, cut it out,” Khimi laughs then pauses. His fingers itch the stubble on his chin. “In either case, both of them will come with us and if they prove to be a burden we’ll leave them in the north at the first city we find.
“Very good,” Ennui mumbles. “Now, on to other matters.”
“What other matters could there even be? Is there something you are holding back? There is…I can see it in those bright red eyes of yours,” Khimi says, tapping Ennui’s horn.
Ennui turns her cheek, her tail slaps against her leg with a rattle. “You’re so fucking stupid,” she growls. “SO fucking stupid, Khimi! I don’t even know why the fuck I’m friends with you.”
Khimi raises his brow and flashes a smile. “Because I’m charming?”
“Hardly,” she groans. “Anything but charming. Conceited? Definitely.”
“Well…if you don’t have anything else kind to say about me, how about we find a ship?” Khimi questions, his eyebrow raising, a smile wide across his cheeks.
Ennui shakes her head then hangs it in defeat. “We should have taken the damned dwarf. Mamir has a knack for this type of thing. Sniffing out deals and making friends with idiots.”
“Unless he can sniff us a boat, there is no reason for him to come…besides — someone needs to watch — never mind.”
Ennui sighs. “He’s entertaining Lumi, not watching him. The mercenaries are watching him, I’ve already instructed them to keep a close eye on your other guests,” she whispers while she turns back to the vessels. “Want to try our luck with any of these? A couple of them look…capable of making the journey,” she adds in a thoughtful tone.
“That one,” Khimi says, pointing to a cog with furled sails. “It looks like it’s in better shape than the rest, at least.”
“You know, we could wait a few more weeks and depart after the spring festivals? It wouldn’t be such a bad thing…the beginning of spring is said to bring nasty weather anyway.”
“Not to be impatient, but the longer I remain here in Sidi…the more complacent I’ll become here. Sure, all of this is frustrating…but maybe I enjoy the stress of it. It’s in my bloo—”
“You’re sick,” Ennui spits playfully. “No one wants to be neck deep in scrolls and ledgers. That’s why Mamir is here, so you can unload all of your boring numbers onto him.”
Khimi lowers his head in thought, his fingers brushing through his stubble. “Mamir is going to need to return to Rhaz…and Aleyna is going to have a hard time being alone again. I’d offer for you to stay, but I’m loath to say that I-I — no, we need you.”
“If you told me to stay here…I’d be rather wroth with you. Besides, I’m certain that there are plenty of people who understand the delicate nature of what you do in Sidi. Why not Aleyna’s handmaiden?” Ennui asks, glancing sideways at Khimi.
“Maza?” Khimi inquires. “She has no education…sure she’s quick-witted, but you truly believe she is capable of running the estate? I’ve had Mamir teaching her some basics already because of her loyalty.”
Ennui bites her lip, “Not on her own, but perhaps if Aleyna showed her what to do, then she could fill in for you in your absence. Certainly there must be people you trust in Rhaz? I mean, we can always leave the dwarf here.”
“Mamir,” Khimi corrects. “Your friend, Mamir. He’s smart…perhaps he could show her how to read the ledgers. I don’t want to burden Aleyna with the duties of the estate. It’s going to take more than Maza anyway. There are mercenaries to pay, other merchants to keep in check. It’s complicated, Ennui. One must be firm, resolute.”
Ennui scoffs, “I haven’t been around Sidi that long, but other than the shit that your dearest papa tried to pull, it’s quiet. There hasn’t been any discord in the streets, no unruly guards shaking citizens down for coin. I haven’t even seen a godsdamned petty thief in the marketplace. It’s a shame.”
They walk along the thick wooden planks and pause, standing before the vessel. It is unsightly upon closer inspection, just below the water, the timbers are crusted in a thick layer of barnacles, the sails had seen better days and are patched in dozens of places.
Khimi purses his lips, then smiles. “It’s a shame, is it? That Sidi is free of crime?”
Ennui smiles up at the ship. “Not all crime, apparently. This ship — this is a crime.”
“Oh, come now. It’s not that bad. Just…” Khimi struggles to keep a straight face, suddenly laughing. “Alright, it’s pretty wickedly hideous. Maybe we’d best look at a different port.”
“A ship doesn’t have to be pretty. Just like a mercenary…it’s just got to get the job done. Maybe this…hideous piece of work is more capable than we know. It certainly looks like it’s been through the ring a time or two.”
“Or twenty,” Khimi chokes under his breath. “By all means, if you want to inquire about passage on,” he pauses, glancing at the name scrawled on the side of the vessel. “Ole Lucky,” he says, choking back another laugh.
“Ole Lucky is going to take us places, Khimi. Just you watch and see,” Ennui whispers defiantly as she crosses her arms. “Besides, I’ve been on rougher looking vessels.”
Ole Lucky is made of a lighter-colored wood compared to the majority of the vessels Khimi had been on. Dolman ironwood, oak, and coastal trees are more commonly used in ship making than whatever wood Ole Lucky had been crafted from. The vessel had a heavy, almost ludicrous amount of wax buildup along the wood. Idle sailors aboard the deck hem-haw about. Ennui turns to Khimi, shrugging while she looks up the mast.
“Seems sturdy enough,” Ennui murmurs as they step onto the gangway. Using her weight, she tests the wooden planks underfoot. “I mean…I’ve seen worse.”
“If you keep saying that, I’ll start to think you’re pulling the wool over my eyes,” Khimi replies as he steps ahead and walks onto the deck. “Do you think the captain is about?”
Ennui hums to herself as she follows close behind, “I’m doubtful. He’s probably in Tarse drinking his weight in liquor. At least that’s where I’d be.” She adds with a toothy grin. “Sailors all take to the taverns when they make landfall.”
Heavy footfalls alert Ennui and Khimi of an approaching figure, turning to witness a bulky, balding man. His skin is like stretched leather from having spent far too much time exposed to the sun, and his teeth are mostly missing except a few, which hang on desperately to the gum. Despite the heat, he wears a thick cloak over his shoulders, obscuring the mostly plain linen garb beneath.
Ennui raises an eyebrow, “Yes?”
“Thought I ‘eard someone ask for the captain?” The man says, attempting a smile, only to close his mouth at Ennui’s grimace.
Khimi pushes against Ennui’s shoulder. “Right, my friend. Captain…?” He asks, waiting for a response.
Almost as if in thought, the man pauses, only to reply once Khimi asks again, “Right, Right. Hugo, that’s my n—”
“But…you are the captain, right?” Ennui inquires, cutting the man off.
“Am I the captain?” The man says with confidence. “Am I the captain?!” He repeats. “‘Course, I’m the captain. See anyone else lookin’ more official than myself?”
Khimi smirks, “Since you, Hugo, are the captain of this most wonderful sailing vessel,” he begins with a sprinkle of sarcasm. “Perhaps we could inquire about passage?”
Hugo smirks in return, his hand hides his crooked smile. “Not to sound rude, but what’s a ‘ordling like ‘erself slumming down ‘ere in Tarse?”
Ennui steps forward, pushing her hand in front of Khimi. “Hugo. Lad. Chap. Matey,” she begins, clearing her throat loudly. “This ‘ordling is seeking passage to the Northern Provinces on a very important diplomatic mission,” she lies, “we’re looking for somewhere he might be able to lie low without drawing the eyes of the crowd.”
Hugo raises his brow, his eyes shifting to Khimi. “I know what that thing around his neck means,” he begins, nodding at the ornate collar-like necklace. “Shouldn’t wear things like that if you don’t wan’na be seen.”
Ennui had often encouraged Khimi to forgo wearing his ornamental jewelry, but he often refused her advice at the insistence that it was an important part of his heritage. The necklaces are worn throughout Sidi by individuals who hold titles and land. The more powerful the individual, the more glamorous the necklace, and Khimi’s had managed to always catch the eye of a fair few when he wore it above his kaftan or kurta.
Ennui shakes her head in dismay, “What did I tell you, mi’lord? Shouldn’t wear such a dazzling display in public. You’re like a jungle bird, begging to be seen,” she mocks through her teeth.
Khimi purses his lips, fumbling for words. “Hugo, where are you taking your ship?”
“Ole Lucky is indeed headed to the Isles,” Hugo replies with a nod. “But, I wasn’ plannin’ to take passengers.”
“Bu—”
“BUT, this is critical, Hugo. And we can make it worth your while,” Ennui interrupts, raising her hand and rubbing her fingers together.
Hugo snorts and crosses his arms, “I’m an honest man, I am…I wasn’t taking passengers because we’ve got a full ship already.”
“Oh…that’s a simple fix,” Khimi murmurs, “I’ll buy part of your haul if you see us to the Isles.”
“Khi—”
A smile shoots across Hugo’s face, “That’s a deal!” He adds, extending his thick meaty hand to Khimi.
Khimi grasps it, his grip tightening while they shake. Their eyes fixed on one another as if in a duel. “Alright, Hugo,” he says after a lengthy shake. “When can we be off?”
“I haven’t even got yer name yet,” Hugo says with a wide grin. “…’ordling?”
“I’d like to inspect the ship first!” Ennui insists as she rubs her brow in frustration. “This vessel needs a lot of work…”
“Ole Lucky is fine,” Hugo laughs. “She’s made it across the Lorian sea ‘fore. Straight from the ‘Vald!”
Ennui recoils in surprise, “Excuse me? Are you mad? Khimi, this man is mad.”
Khimi blinks slowly at Hugo before him, releasing his hand slowly. “The Vald? You mean Schwartzvald?”
“Nachtvald, Schwarz, whatever ya’ want to call it. The Night Forest. Some jus’ call it ‘The Republic’!”
“Aren’t there two republics across the Lorian Sea?” Ennui asks, leaning in closer to Hugo. She eyes him skeptically, “Do you really expect me to believe that you crossed the Lorian sea in this din—”
Khimi claps his hands suddenly, “Wonderful vessel!” He shouts, cutting Ennui off.
Hugo laughs, his eyes trail across Ole Lucky’s deck. “Wish I’d made that voyage on Lucky then, but nay, I traversed the Lorian Sea on a wayward vessel lost outside Aruna. The waters were calm as can be, but — anyway, right there are two republics, often at war…always have been.”
“So then…you’re some kind of deserter?” Ennui questions, a sheepish grin forming on her lips.
“I was a stable hand back in Schwarz an’ when the family I ‘erved decided to join the war…so too did their stable hand. Ain’t my fault they didn’ make it back. And it wasn’ my fault the ship got lost at sea,” Hugo responds defiantly. “But sure enough…I wasn’ fond of bein’ brought to war ‘gainst my will either.”
“A sentiment any man would share,” Khimi nods in agreement.
“I still want to see this damn ship,” Ennui murmurs under her breath. “If I have to spend gods only know how many weeks with you and Lumi playing lovey-dovey, I might lose it.”
Hugo looks between them. “Ole Lucky isn’t a passenger ship…so whatever comforts you may be seeking you won’t find here.”
Ennui rolls her eyes, “And tell me, Hugo. One more thing…why aren’t YOU worried about the storm season like the rest of the Sidian ships?”
“I don’t believe in the gods,” Hugo offers in response. He puffs out his chest and taps himself proudly, “I’ve never believed in the gods, and I’ve crossed from Rennes to Dolmas a dozen times.”
“A dozen times? Perhaps fortune has been on your side,” Ennui whispers in response, fingering the tips of her horns. “I’ve heard the journey into Dolmas is perilous, the river has been known to claim even the most noteworthy of vessels.”
“Then it meets your approval?” Khimi inquires, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Ennui pushes his hand from her shoulder, “Hardly. Hugo, you’re going to need to see to some improvements before we set off…and if the young lord here is buying whatever is in your hull. There should be ample enough coin to pay for repairs. Right?”
Hugo sighs. “Listen here. Lucky has made it like this for ages. The sails are in workin’ order, the hull has been tarred. I can assure ya’ there are no leaks.”
“Either way…I’ll have to do a formal inspection,” Ennui says with an air of superiority. “I’ll return within a few days with a shipwright.”
Khimi places his hand on the hilt of his shamshir, “Hugo, what were you carrying in the hull anyway?”
“Furs from Loria and the Northern Provinces. Though times have been tough and the Golden Isles placed tariffs on trade lately…so we’ve been skirting about it. Now, when we can, we make our livin’ fishin’ along the coast and sellin’ to markets,” Hugo responds with a quick nod of his head.
Ennui hangs her head briefly and pushes the dark locks from her eyes, “And you are positive, Hugo. You’re not going to back out on us at the last second and cite your fear of the gods?”
Hugo chuckles, his head thrown back in laughter. “I told yas. I ain’t afraid of the gods of chaos. Zephyr, or his ill winds. I’ve even run across Zephyr in person. Interesting fella’ for being the Saint of Storms and all.”
Khimi pipes up at the captain’s words. “You’ve met the Saint of Storms?”
In his youth, Khimi had read dozens of stories and legends about saints and though he claimed to have no interest in the gods, the Saint of Storms always kept his interest. The lord of chaos is said to have four enigmatic characters under his control, known as the ill winds. Each of the ill winds are each supposedly powerful in their own respects.
“Sure have, he was celebrating with his ill winds in a small town off the Lorian coast. Shocked the hells out of me to see someone so notorious jus’ drinking with ‘is crew,” Hugo responds, scratching his head in thought.
“What sort of person was he?” Khimi asks with a sudden interest.
Ennui glances at Khimi, then to Hugo. “If the stories and fables about Zephyr are true, then he’s probably just an ornery codger who drinks himself to death every single night.”
“As the lass says, he drank himself until he was piss drunk and then made off with his crew…they vanished in a blink, only the thunder rumblin’ behind.”
“Sounds just as enigmatic as the other saints,” Ennui drones to herself. “But that aside,” she says more firmly. “You won’t be offering sacrifice, or pouring out kegs of ale to appease the gods?”
“Waste perfectly good ale? Nonsense!” Hugo answers happily. “And as far as sacrifice goes, if we have livestock aboard, it’s only there to fill our bellies.”
“Wh—”
“Right then,” Ennui interrupts. “Once we come back with the shipwright, we’ll unload your hull and prepare for the journey…until then. It’s best you stick around,” she says pointedly.
“I’ll be sure to give you a fair price for the furs,” Khimi adds with a nod, while Ennui takes his arm and begins to pull him back towards the gangway.
Hugo waves from the distance and smiles. “Perhaps I could get an advance payment?”
“W-What?” Ennui calls back, pretending not to hear. “Khimi, you can’t be serious?” She asks under her breath, turning to Khimi as they step back onto the planks of the wharf. “The man is clearly not all there.”
“Sure…but I think he could get us there. At least to the isles, then we can travel by mainland through Loria if we can’t find another vessel to take us to the Northern Provinces,” Khimi grumbles.
“OR, you can wait a few months for the storm season to pass and then surely someone in their right mind will take us to the isles. If he says he’s from across the Lorian Sea…we can’t trust him, not because he’s from the Vald, but because that i-is just crazy! We can find a mage or ask Davani to send us there.”
Khimi’s eyes glance over the vessel and to the Emerald Coast. “Surely the Lorian Sea is not as dangerous as it is made out to be. I’ve always heard the rumors since I was a boy, but I am certain sailors like to drum up the excitement of their travels.”
The trek to the Golden Isles from Sidi hardly brushed along the Lorian Sea, but that did not change the fact that at several points along the journey, their vessel would be at the mercy of the chilling waters.
“I doubt when we return that Hugo will still be around,” Ennui says confidently and rolls her eyes. “Had you given him a single coin he would have turned tail. Just wait and see.”
Khimi smirks as he adjusts the golden earring dangling precariously from his lobe. “I think Hugo is more honest than you give him credit for.”
“Are you placing your faith in a complete stranger, Khimi Zeybek?”
“No, I just think he’ll wait for us. Or maybe I am just being hopeful.”
“Maybe you’re a fool after all,” she replies, tugging her traveling cloak over her shoulders. “I still think we should wait until the end of the storm season.”
Khimi pinches his brow, “Maybe,” he begins shaking his head. “But it’s time we continue our journey. I can’t stay here much longer…not now anyway.”
Ennui releases a lengthy sigh, “Then it shall be done. But don’t blame me when Captain Hugo fucks us over.”
“We’ll be fine, Ennui.”
“So you say,” Ennui replies with a hint of contempt.
Feast
The days pass quickly and Khimi grows increasingly eager to leave, his travels around Tarse and the Sidian harbor do not go unnoticed. Khimi had begun to ease some clerical duties of Emir Zeybek to Mamir and Maza. Though they manage to ease some burdens of his responsibilities, the duties of Emir Zeybek are more complex than even he had realized. Nearly every couple hours, merchants would appear at the gates, begging for an audience regarding trade routes and safe passage through the Desert Cities. While others would often appear only to slander or make claims against the Cerulean Star. While Khimi did not deign to listen to every merchant or claim, he attempts to be fair in his decisions. The daily activities wear on Khimi until he gathers Aleyna and his closest companions to announce his intent to leave Sidi for the foreseeable future.
After his gathering in the Grand Hall, Aleyna had organized a veritable feast suited for someone of Khimi’s social standing. Dozens of prominent families from Sidi, merchant princes, priests, and high priests from the Sanctum as well as the Saint Davani herself are all given invitations to the event. Khimi is distraught over the growing size of the soirée, but he endures for Aleyna’s sake.
Within a week of Khimi’s announcement, the night is upon them, and much to Khimi’s surprise, Aleyna encourages Lumi to stand by Khimi’s side even in the face of the Zeybek’s political adversaries. Khimi, dressed in a cerulean kurta, a golden sash across his chest, stands beside Lumi at the highest point in the Grand Hall. Together they look down across the hundreds of individuals that had gathered to celebrate Emir Khimi Zeybek. Lumi squeezes Khimi’s hand and scratches at the loose cerulean kaftan Aleyna forced him to wear. Every few moments, someone would approach them and offer Khimi their support. The notion seems to make Lumi snicker, which would bring a scowl across Aleyna’s face.
“Khimi,” Aleyna says after a particularly talkative priest from the Sanctum departs with a bow. “A word?”
Khimi brushes past Lumi, giving him a faint squeeze of acknowledgement before leaving him alone before a small group of gawking merchants. “Yes?” He whispers before her. “Lumi looks like he’s going to break if he has to endure much more of this.”
“He’ll be fine,” Aleyna replies with an encouraging smile and quick glance past Khimi at the boy. “Come, take a stroll with me,” she adds. Her arm covered in golden bangles takes Khimi’s. “I just need a few moments of your time.”
Aleyna walks beside Khimi, standing just a bit shorter than her son. Her sari matches Khimi’s kurta in color, and the golden waist scarf is just as brilliant as the golden threaded sash Khimi wears about his chest. Her feet tap across the tiles in soft leather espadrilles with leather straps about the ankle. There is a comfort walking arm in arm with his mother, even though they had been estranged. She has a calmness about her that gives Khimi a sense of pride and honor.
As they walk through a hallway meant for the servants and into one of the many courtyards of the estate, Aleyna glances up into the starry night. Khimi follows her gaze to Stella Solaris, the brightest star, the merchant’s star. His family’s star.
“I won’t try to talk you out of leaving, I understand whatever it is that you have your heart set on…you won’t give up until you find the answers you seek. You’re like Ziad in that regard, you have an indomitable will,” Aleyna whispers while gazing into the heavens. “I’ve always felt I did wrong by you, Khimi.”
Khimi clears his throat with an abrupt cough, “Mom,” he begins quietly. “I’m sorry. When I left…it was not meant to hurt you.”
After a long pause, Aleyna releases a heavy breath and lowers her head. Her head shakes from side to side, the golden accessories on her horns jingle in the starlight, “There were times I would wonder if you were still alive. Rashid would be on the hunt for you…weeks then months without a word or clue. Then a glimmer of hope would appear and you would vanish again. I don’t blame you for leaving. W-What I did to you, forcing so much responsibility on you. I knew it was the reason you left…you were just a boy. I only hope as a mother that I won’t repeat the same mistake.”
“Don’t. Don’t blame yourself,” Khimi begins in a whisper. His hands fidget with the thick golden sash. “I left because I wasn’t ready to become Emir Zeybek, because…I could never truly follow behind Ziad’s legacy.”
“Because you are afraid you need to be the same man that Ziad was?” Aleyna asks quietly while she walks towards a large stone jutting up from the landscape. Her hand brushes over the rocky surface before she sits and motions to the empty spot beside her. “Or is it because you are afraid that you already know that answer?”
Khimi approaches and sits beside Aleyna, kicking his babouches off and scrubbing his bare feet through the sparse grass. “I am nothing like Ziad…but I do find myself at times losing my temper. In those moments, I can’t help but feel I am just like him. My ideals are nothing like his, and yet I think like him. I find myself using people even if I do not mean to.”
“I know,” Aleyna smiles. “You aren’t Ziad. Your ideals will bring hope. And it’s precisely because you faced the hardships that Ziad placed upon you and because you witnessed the world with your own eyes, the nature of mankind. This is why you will make a brilliant emir.”
“Bring hope?” Khimi asks in a whisper. “I am not sure…but I certainly had hoped that I could change the perception of the Cerulean Star. But that will have to wait for now.”
Aleyna hums quietly, “and Lumi?” She asks in a silvery tone. “All of this is because of him?”
“And for myself. I know that this is all really sudden and that you hoped I’d be here longer,” Khimi mutters. “But I swear, if we find our answers quickly, then we will come back to rebuild the Cerulean Star how I once dreamed it could be.”
“Khimi,” Aleyna sighs, her hand on his knee. “If the Cerulean Star isn’t your dream, it’s okay. I won’t force my dreams upon you.”
Khimi shakes his head and brushes the dark hair from his eyes. “I used to think about the Cerulean Star every night. I would hear every merchant from here to Porat speaking of it with such respect. Then I learned that respect was built on Ziad’s rigidity, on his cruelty.”
“You were always a kind boy, I could see positive changes brought to the Cerulean Star from your leadership,” Aleyna replies. “But if this isn’t what you want, Khimi. Then don’t force yourself to embrace this.”
“You say this now, when just the othe–”
“I know. I still haven’t changed my thoughts…not entirely, but I don’t want to keep you here if you want to leave. It wouldn’t be fair to you…or the boy.”
Khimi hangs his head and places his hand over Aleyna’s. “I promise that I’ll come back, mom. I feel ashamed leaving you here with this responsibility.”
“Don’t feel guilty, my precious boy. Just promise me that you will be safe,” Aleyna whispers, her hand trembling over Khimi’s knee. “I already know there will be dangers ahead for you, Khimi.”
“Ziad?” Khimi asks quietly, his hand tightening over Aleyna’s.
Aleyna nods in confirmation. “Ziad will be kept outside Sidi by the sanctum, but there is nothing stopping him from hiring an assassin or another mercenary company. It isn’t a matter of if, but when it happens. I fear not only for my life, but for the life that you and Lumi wish to have outside these walls. Outside Sidi there is nothing to stop him from coming for you.”
“Ziad’s sins are great in number. But I believe that his days are numbered…be it by my own hands or another, he will meet his end,” Khimi mutters. “I can’t take this anymore,” he murmurs. “How could you take this for so long? This oppression, how can you stand it?”
Aleyna’s expression hardens. She turns to Khimi with a determined look in her eyes, “You learn to endure. It is the only thing you can do when you deal with a man like Ziad. You and I know more than anyone just what sort of man he can be.”
“I’ve never told anyone about Ziad before Lumi,” Khimi murmurs. “It was…cathartic, having someone to tell the stories. To expose his disgusting nature.”
“I never had anyone to tell, though I am certain everyone who ever served a single day here knew of the atrocities. Certainly Rashid knew, but even raising a hand against Ziad only served to enrage him and make things worse. I kept everything that he did a secret in order to protect your future and the Cerulean Star. Bringing dishonor to the Cerulean Star would only serve to tarnish the future that I worked tirelessly to build for you,” Aleyna says, casting her gaze back to the stars. “But, I am hopeful that whatever it is you seek with Lumi, that you will find it. Whatever it is, it must be important.”
The corner of Khimi’s lips tug into a grin. “It means everything to him,” he begins. “And he means…more than I care to admit. I know it seems odd, but I’ve felt like I have always known him.” He pauses and looks up to the heavens with Aleyna. “I admit that I may have made a few mistakes along the way. T-There are times that I wish he would just…shut up,” he adds with a laugh.
Aleyna smiles at the stars, “Love can be like that. Frustrating beyond anything, but with hard work it can blossom into something special. I am disappointed to say that I never got that chance. But I pray that what you have with Lumi will grow, that the love you have for one another will bring you both joy. Though, I have to admit…the idea of never being a grandmother does cause me some anguish.”
Khimi scoffs and cracks a smile, “Trust, that has been a subject on my mind for quite some time. Being the last of my lineage, not being able to provide an heir, leaving you without grandchildren. It has weighed on me heavily over the years, those were things that kept me from wanting to come back.”
“Did you truly think I’d be upset if you told me where your interests were? As if I couldn’t tell you liked boys, Khimi. But still you have a duty to marry and bring forth an heir just as I di–”
“Marriages for politics…I am sure I could have suffered through them. Performed my duty when the time was upon me, there are many in my situation who have done the same,” Khimi says with a hint of laughter.
“Certainly if you wished for it, you could have had concubines, but I understand your heart, Khimi.”
“Do you?” Khimi asks quietly. “Even I don’t understand my heart. There are times I hate the sight of Lumi, and other times I want nothing more than to hold him tight. I can’t explain it…”
“You have never had feelings of love, have you?” Aleyna snickers and hangs her head. The golden accessories on her horns dangle in the light of the sisters. “You can’t marry without love. Not without it bothering you. After all, you witnessed the outcome of Ziad and I’s betrothal.”
“Something good came of it, though.”
“Other than you, I can think of little good that came from our marriage,” Aleyna replies softly.
Khimi smirks. “Well, aside from myself, I mean you managed to become one of the most powerful women in the Desert Cities. That is something at least.”
Aleyna closes her eyes and sighs, “After a certain point, the idea of power becomes exhausting. The idea of having nothing suddenly becomes alluring.”
“Lumi has said as much. That he’d be happy with nothing. It’s hard to imagine being happy with nothing, but I believe him. When we were at Rashid’s house…I could see it, our future together. It was surreal.”
“Did you tell him?” Aleyna asks, her eyes still closed in contemplation. “Sometimes people like to hear things like that.” She pauses momentarily, a smile crosses her lips. “When you come back, I am expecting a celebration. A proper marriage, Khimi.”
Khimi sighs, “When we come back, we’ll wed. I’ll talk it over with Lumi, but I think that he’ll be more than happy to have something to celebrate our union.”
Aleyna squeezes Khimi’s knee and releases her grip. “Then it’s settled. When you come back to Sidi, we will celebrate together. You will be wed, and the entirety of the Desert Cities will celebrate your union.”
“Aley– mom,” Khimi begins in a whisper, leaning his head against his mother’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, Khimi…you’re the boy I always knew you would be,” Aleyna whispers then lets out a deep sigh, gently massages Khimi’s scalp. “Do you remember the significance of the eight points, Khimi? The eight points of the Cerulean Star?”
“How could I forget?”
She leans in and kisses his dark hair, “Let’s review them: Courage. You possess more courage than anyone I’ve ever known. You have faced challenges that most people couldn’t even imagine. Nourishment. Look at how well you take care of your body, Khimi. Every day since you left, you have nourished not only your physical self but also your mind.” She pauses to brush his hair away from his eyes. “Influence. The goal of the Cerulean Star is to spread its influence throughout the realm, and you have done just that. You have represented our family with grace and strength.” She smiles and they both share a gentle chuckle.
Aleyna takes another deep breath and continues, “Fertility. If it were possible, I’m sure Lumi would already have a brood of children by you at this point. Hearing him speak of you has proven that to me.”
They both look into one another’s eyes, then burst out laughing.
“Victory,” Aleyna says with pride in her voice, “I’ve heard from Rashid about your successes — both in the arenas of Betset and as a mercenary.”
“Knowledge,” she continues, “you possess knowledge that very few others do. Five languages at least, while most people struggle to read even one.”
“Wealth,” she reminds him, “as heir to the Zeybek family, you will always have a mass of wealth behind you. And then there is the final point…”
“New beginnings?” Khimi offers.
“Yes,” Aleyna confirms with a nod, “the Cerulean Star is always seeking new opportunities for growth and success. What you and Lumi are doing now…this is your new beginning. This is the next chapter in your life. With him.”
“Mom…”
Aleyna runs her fingers over the back of Khimi’s head. “We’ll hold down the fort here. When you get back, there will be nothing for you to do. Just watch, you’ll never have to lift a finger.”
“Don’t overwork yourself…there is no need for it. The Cerulean Star has enough resources that you shouldn’t have to…buy out another merchant company if you need to,” Khimi begins with a chuckle. “You have my blessing as Emir Zeybek to spend whatever resources you need. I heard the Kappas family may be seeking to consolidate.”
Aleyna scrubs her hand through his dark hair. “As if I needed your permission,” she whispers, bringing her lips to the top of his head, “promise you’ll come home?”
“I promise,” Khimi replies before Aleyna plants a soft kiss in his hair. “I promise, Aleyna.