Wanted
The cold brushes against their faces, the harsh wind and snow swirls around them. If it was not for Lumi nuzzled between his legs, Khimi is sure he would have frozen to death. The horses some distance behind them slowly gain on them. Their much larger draft horses break through the thick beds of snow. Their breathing is labored, steamy breath creates patches of fog with the beast’s breath. Ennui rides just ahead of them, with Mido and Augustus right behind. Khimi is unsure if it is the whoops and calls of the riders behind them or the unbearable cold that causes Lumi to tremble so violently between his legs.
While he had ridden many a beast in his time as a mercenary, this by far was one of the largest he had ever ridden. The horse was wont to disobey, pulling this way and that, the opposite of his commands. It is evident that the creature had not been reared to be ridden, at least not in this manner.
Lumi’s head occasionally peeks back behind them, watching the riders advance closer to their position. Cautiously, he leans back against Khimi’s chest and speaks up to be heard, “They’re gaining on us.”
Khimi already knew that they would. It would only be a matter of time before the much smaller horses were able to catch up to them. The pack behind them vastly outnumbered them, and in the lead, Khimi is almost certain that he had spotted Perri.
Ennui coasts back beside them, then increases her pace to keep up alongside them. “Khimi, we can lose them in the woods up ahead. A-abandon these beasts and take theirs, yeah?”
Her suggestion is wise; they would not be able to outrun their horses on these. From what Khimi had seen during the display in the Great Hall, it is unlikely that any of the guards are as well-trained as Ennui or himself. Khimi nods, guiding the horse towards the nearest copse of trees, while Ennui spurs forward to communicate their plan with the others.
“We have to fight?” Lumi asks in a whisper, the concern clear in his tone.
A small, almost apologetic nod is all he offers in response.
He cannot help but feel a sense of camaraderie with Perri, even in the short time they had spent together. The young lapine exudes an air of hopefulness, much like Khimi himself did when he was younger. Perhaps it is their shared status as sons of lords that brought them together. But as he thinks of Perri now, Khimi can only imagine the weight of responsibility and pressure that must be on his shoulders at this moment.
Lumi leans in close, his voice barely a whisper as he speaks through the cloth covering his mouth. “Do you want me to handle it?” His words are muffled but shaky. “I can handle it…”
“Lumi,” Khimi mutters, dipping his face between Lumi’s ears. “I don’t want you to have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“That’s not how it works, Khimi…”
Khimi’s lips pull up into a smile, “Cheeky lion,” he whispers back, his gloves tight on the reins. “I think we’ll be fine once we get deeper in the woods. Just… hold off for a bit.”
Lumi mumbles something inaudible, followed quickly by a curse. His hands rub back and forth against Khimi’s thighs as if to warm himself before he tucks them back into his own sleeves.
The dense woods break around them, revealing a clearing. Towering conifers and ancient evergreens reach high into the sky, their branches weighed down with blankets of snow. Birches and poplars surround them, forming a thick barrier as they venture deeper into the forest. The ground is a patchwork of rocks and stones that jut out from the pristine snow like shards of glittering glass. Ennui expertly pulls back on her reins, bringing her hulking steed to a graceful stop in a small clearing. Augustus and Khimi follow suit, their horses clopping softly behind hers. A hush falls over the group as Khimi gently lifts Lumi off his horse and sets him down in the snow. He then dismounts, his shamshir tapping lightly against his hip as he takes in the serene surroundings.
Ennui looks around at all of them, drawing her daggers, her knuckles white as parchment on the hilts. “They will be on us soon,” she says, her voice quivering with excitement. “There won’t be much time. Mido, if the mage is here… kill him this time. Lumi… if anyone draws a bow… don’t even spare a thought.” The tension in the air is thick as they prepare for the impending battle.
Both Lumi and Mido nod in recognition of her commands.
Augustus takes the bridles of his and Ennui’s horses and leads them into the woods, only to emerge moments later with the rapier from Cochon in his hand. “Are we actually going to do this… ? We can just scare them off, can’t we?”
Khimi finishes securing the horse’s bridle to a spindly conifer and turns back to the clearing. His eyes scan the area, taking in every detail. “I fear it won’t be as simple as that,” he says, unsheathing Rashid’s shamshir from its long scabbard. The blade glints, ready for battle. “A man consumed by grief is not one who will easily grant forgiveness.”
“But it wasn’t even our fault!” Augustus groans, “We were guests! Isn’t there some sort of primal law that makes it so guests are… well received?”
Ennui cannot help but laugh, buckling forward, “Hells, how I wish something like that existed. And even if it did, I can assure you, it would be broken the moment someone had the chance to.”
Mido laughs along with Ennui, “She’s right. As much as I want to believe in people, I am beginning to learn…” His words trail, his pointed ears twitch. “They’re here.”
Khimi can hear it, the sound of the horses in the distance. Their powerful hooves strike the frozen ground as they break through the embankment of the river and enter the forest. The loud thudding of their steps echoes through the trees, sending birds scattering from their perches. Sensing the urgency of the situation, Khimi’s fingers dance over his sword, tracing symbols that illuminate with a fiery glow. He speaks an incantation in the Old Tongue, channeling Enan’s magic into his weapon. With a burst of heat, flames ignite along its length, casting an orange light across his features. Though apprehensive about facing Perri in battle, Khimi cannot contain his excitement at the prospect of an upcoming fight. His heart races with adrenaline and his muscles tense in anticipation.
The sound of hooves crunch softly in the snow, barely making a sound in the quiet forest. Lumi and Mido quickly take cover among the trees, while the rest of the group stands ready, weapons in hand and waiting.
A magnificent, dusky horse gallops over the small hill, followed by a group of equally impressive steeds with their riders brandishing swords. Khimi had struggled to count their numbers while they were still riding towards them, but now he realizes there must have been at least twenty. The thunderous sound of hooves break through the clearing, Perri leading the assault. The armor he wears is the same he had seen in the imagery woven in the tapestries, the same shown on the stained-glass that adorned the walls.
Perri’s armor glints with the light reflecting off of the snow as he breaks from the cover of trees and into the clearing. Then a deafening roar of flames ignites around them; the air crackles with heat as Lumi steps into the circle, his eyes ablaze with a fiery crimson glow. Golden tendrils of light dance along his fingers, extending up into his sleeves. At the center of his forehead, a blazing sunburst pulsates, radiating pure golden light. The horses whinny and rear in fear, but Lumi remains unflinching. He strides forward, passing by the others until he stands beside Khimi. The intense heat from the flames consumes the snow around them, creating a cacophony of melting ice and steam.
Khimi is momentarily stunned by the display, awestruck by just how powerful Lumi can be when wielding the divine. With a renewed sense of their situation, he turns to face Perri, who stands alone, now cut off from the other riders by the flames.
“Khimi,” Ennui mutters, her eyes locked with him from across the clearing. “What’re you doing?”
“Perri,” Khimi begins, his gruff voice nearly drowned out by the roar of the flames. “Please consider what happens next, Perri.”
Perri calms his horse, the beast kicking back and forth along the ring, seeking a way out. “Don’t… don’t give me that!” he shouts, his voice a shrill shriek. “You… you’re all monsters!”
“We were defending ourselves!” Augustus shouts, looking between Ennui and Khimi for approval.
“Defending yourselves?” Perri scoffs in disbelief. “All you had to do was just return home. That was it. Return home, and everyone would still be alive… and y–”
“Home?!” Khimi shouts, “My home is not with Ziad! My home… is with Lumi. Had your father not been so consumed with his greed, then he would still be alive. I could see it in his eyes, Perri. His lust for fortun–”
“You will never understand the perils that our family has faced!” Perri shouts, “How much we have sacrificed to keep Riverwatch safe!” His horse moves back and forth uncomfortably. “How much we have GIVEN!”
“I’m sure you have given a lot… but that doesn’t mean that you can make other people suffer,” Lumi says, his voice barely audible. “Maybe you can appeal to the Faith for help?”
“The Faith!? The Faith has turned its back on us! The north is overrun with darkness, undead run rampant, vampires walk among the citizens, feasting on them!” Perri dismounts, the saber at his side slides from his sheath. “Where was the Faith when Riverwatch needed it?” he shouts definitely, “The north has been all but abandoned, forgotten by the faithful! The precious saints hide away in their gilded towers while the north suffers! Gilbert cowers with his books, Hollgrehenn with his tools! While the Faith forgets us! The only thing that Riverwatch has that supports it is commerce! Commerce never abandoned us, commerce! The lords of Riverwatch fought tirelessly to expand their trade routes, armed themselves, learned to make du–”
“None of this has anything to do with us,” Ennui retorts, easing her stance. “Your father thought he was going to make some quick coin by sending Khimi back… but he fucked up.”
“Speak wench,” Perri growls, “What do you mean!”
“As Lumi claimed, Ziad Zeybek was denounced as Emir Zeybek, his title stripped of him by the Saint of Balance, the governing head of the city,” Ennui says, forcing herself to stay calm. “Whatever Ziad told you is a lie…”
“When I return to Sidi… I had every intention of keeping my word to your father. To the best of my abilities in any case,” Khimi adds, while he grabs hold of Lumi’s hand. “This is the reason that Ziad is so filled with hate.”
The pain shows in Perri’s watering eyes, his jaw clenched closed tight. “Because of him?!” He asks, shouting across the distance. He reaches for the saddlebag and pulls out a small crossbow. Knocking a bolt in place, he begins to lift it. “Why?” He shouts, his voice shaking with hysteria.
“Because… fathers don’t understand their sons…” Khimi says, his grip tightening on Lumi’s hand. “Because they expect us to carry on their legac–”
“It is our duty!” Perri shouts, his voice breaking, “It is the duty of the son to carry on the legacy of our forefathers, is it not?” He raises the crossbow in his hand, pointing it at Khimi.
Khimi’s entire existence has been defined by duty. From a young age, he has been taught to prioritize it above all else. As a child he was raised to believe duty was his god, it was more important than anything else. It was his duty to bring forth an heir, his duty to bring honor to the Zeybek name. Then as a mercenary, duty continued to carry him forward, his loyalty to contracts and missions consumed him. And even when he became Lord Zeybek of the Cerulean Star, duty still controlled his every move. But now, as he looks back on his life, Khimi cannot help but feel conflicted. Duty had brought him success and power, but at what cost? It had kept him from experiencing true happiness and fulfillment.
The tension is thick, Lumi’s eyes dart from Perri to Ennui, seeking her guidance. Ennui nods at Lumi with approval.
“Perri!” Khimi shouts, his voice booming over the roaring fire. “Don’t… we don’t have to be the person our fathers want us to be. I-I don’t know how you were raised, but I was always told it was my destiny to control the Cerulean Star, that it was my duty to become Emir Zeybek. I never wanted any of it, you… you don’t need to keep this promise that your father made with Ziad,” he pleads. “Just… listen. Please. Just listen!”
The angry shouts of the guards pierce through the crackling flames, their voices echoing across the clearing. They call out for the new lord of Riverwatch, their words filled with urgency and demand. Perri’s face hardens as his hand tightens around the trigger of his crossbow, a confident smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“The sins of the fathe–”
But before he can even finish speaking, the flames suddenly dissipate, reforming into a terrifying inferno where Perri stands. Khimi can see a white heat burst through Perri’s eyes, which begin to ooze like melting snow down his face, his skin cracks like a pane of glass then shrinks tight against his bones. Khimi’s eyes widen in shock, feeling the intense heat radiating before him. The fiery blaze before them is mirrored in Lumi’s tear-filled eyes, leaving them all in a state of awe.
Perri’s horse lets out a piercing scream, its front hooves pawing at the air before it rears up on its hind legs in terror. Without warning, it bolts into the woods, the sound of its hooves echoing through the trees.
“Lumi!” Khimi whispers urgently, his grip tightening on Lumi’s hand. The fear in his voice is palpable as he asks, “Why?”
Lumi’s grip on Khimi’s hand tightens in response, his voice lacking its usual softness, declaring, “No one will ever take you from me.” As they stand there, their fingers entwined, the scent of searing flesh fills the clearing. Across the way, the guards on horseback look down at them. Some of them remove their helmets to get a better look, while others hastily turn and flee.
Silence envelops them as Khimi stands there, watching Perri, a man not unlike himself, burn away. The silhouette of Perri writhes on the ground, his flesh sizzling and blackening from the flames that had engulfed him. In a sudden rush, the blaze dissipates, leaving behind only the eerie stillness of the frozen forest. The guards exchange uncertain glances before quickly retreating, the hooves of their horses crunching in the snow.
“That is… an unconventional approach,” Ennui grumbles after a moment. She carefully treads through the thick snow, taking her time to sheathe her daggers as she stands before Perri. “Lum–”
Lumi’s features contort in anguish, tears overflowing from his eyes and trailing down his cheeks. The crimson glow in his irises dims and fades, the golden tendrils that once wrapped around his arms lose their luster, and even the sunburst marking on his forehead disappears. Khimi moves with protective speed, placing himself between Lumi and Perri, shielding him from the sight.
Ennui sighs, then looks over Perri’s body. “You’re going to need to learn not to cry every time you kill someone. It’ll never get easier, Lumi. Not for someone like you.”
Mido takes a step through the clearing to them, both his and Augustus’ silence speaks volumes. His lips tremble while he seeks words to ease Lumi’s pain. “Sorry,” he mutters finally. “B-but it was probably for the best… Khimi was right, there was no way we would have been able to make him see things clearly.”
Augustus wipes his brow, “It’s too late to go back now anyhow,” he says, placing his hand on his hip and shoving the rapier into his belt. “Lord Barrau, now his son. We’re not going to be welcomed anywhere at this rate. Or we can just… burn our way through the north.”
Mido’s eyes narrow on Augustus, “Augustus,” he mumbles in disbelief. “None of this was… our fault.”
Lumi wipes his eyes, then pushes himself past Khimi. Khimi grabs onto his sleeve to stop him, but Lumi rips it from his grip. “It’s fine.”
Ennui pulls a burned silk pouch from Perri’s side and jingles it through her fingers. “Men will say all sorts of things when their backs are to a wall, Lumi. Don’t take it to heart. What he said about the Faith…”
“People will always blame the Faith when things are beyond their control,” Khimi whispers.
“You don’t need to tell me,” Lumi insists, wiping his eyes once more while he stands a short distance from Perri’s corpse. “Do you think they will keep after us?”
Ennui hums thoughtfully before she stands up, “I doubt anyone with sense would follow us after what they have just seen. You’re much less disappointing than you used to be,” she whispers. Walking past him, she places a hand on his shoulder and turns to him, her tail whips against his leg. “At least you ended it quickly.”
Lumi nods to her while Khimi approaches from behind.
Khimi places his hands on Lumi’s shoulders, “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”
Perri’s armor is untouched by the flames, the silvery armor glints in the reflective brightness of the snow. The saber still in his hand is the same that Khimi had seen Lord Barrau use in their battle in the Great Hall. As Lumi kneels to collect it, Khimi pulls him back to stop him.
“What’re you doing?” Lumi questions softly. “We could use it.”
“He deserves to be buried with his weapon. It was his father’s sword, an heirloom,” Khimi replies. “I am sure once we leave, the riders will come back to collect his body.”
Ennui’s cold laughter echoes through the clearing, while she appears on the back of her steed. “Unless they take his armor and sword first, then claim we stole it. Like the villains, they are making us out to be.”
Lumi remains frozen in place, staring down at Perri with a blank expression. His eyes scan across his crisp form as if searching for something. “Khimi…” he begins in a whisper only meant for his ears. “I think… that he came here to die.”
“What do you mean?”
“The look in his eyes, he smiled right before he pointed that crossbow at you. Maybe he wanted it to end,” Lumi continues in a soft whisper. “Why else would he chase us… I mean, he saw what happened. He knows th–”
“We will never know what went through his head, Lumi. Not unless you want to ask Lilith to come up here,” Khimi says, cutting him off. “I don’t think you should be worried about it anyway.”
“Bu–”
“Khimi, Lumi!” Ennui calls, interrupting their conversation. “Hurry up, now isn’t the time to fuck around. This light won’t be out for long.”
Augustus clicks his tongue and spurs his horse onward, followed by Ennui, who gives them both a final look.
Left alone in the quiet of the clearing, Lumi remains staring down at Perri’s body, a contemplative look on his face. “I didn’t want to, Khimi… but I-I didn’t have a choice.”
“I’m sure no matter how it played out, something bad would have happened either way. I don’t want you to let this hold you back. It’s just like the pirates, what you did… it helped us, alright?”
Lumi gulps, his tail sways behind him and reaches for Khimi’s thigh, wrapping around him like a gentle hug. “I’m sorry… I know you felt bad for him. I can tell you didn’t want to hurt him.”
“Don’t think about that. I just didn’t want him to hurt you. I thought… I thought maybe I could get Lord Barrau to see to reason. I guess Perri was the same after all,” Khimi whispers, while he lowers himself to embrace Lumi, pushing his chin between his ears. “What would I do with myself if something happened to you?” The gentleness of his words causes a twitch in Lumi’s ears.
The melted snow slides underfoot while Lumi turns to Khimi. An unnatural warmth courses through Lumi as he embraces Khimi. He closes his eyes, the rapidness of Lumi’s heart beats against his own. The shaky fluttering of Lumi’s warmth breathes beside his ear. The embrace tightens, his own heart wants to burst.
“Lumi,” he whispers softly. “We should go.”
Lumi pulls hard on Khimi’s woolen jacket, forcing their lips together. The intoxicating taste draws Khimi in. His thoughts of Perri are drowned by the boy in his arms, his hands searching for the comfort of Lumi’s tail, thumbing along the joints at the base.
Lumi nuzzles his nose against Khimi’s, their lips still tight against one another’s. He pushes to the side to whisper, “Khimi… we’re gonna figure it all out.”
Khimi’s thumb rolls along the coarse fur of Lumi’s tail, “I know.” His eyes look past Lumi, pausing over the burnt corpse.
I’m sorry, Perri.
Barred
The days spent traveling are a constant battle against the harsh elements. The long days turn into a week, then another. The freezing cold seeps into their bones, numbing their extremities and making every step a struggle. They push on, fueled by Khimi and Lumi’s magick that keeps them warm enough to avoid frostbite. But even with their magick, each passing day takes its toll on their horses, their once swift pace now slowing to a sluggish crawl.
As they make their way through the desolate landscape, they pass through one abandoned village after another, seeking shelter among the frozen hovels and houses. The wooden walls provide some protection from the biting wind and serve as fuel for their fires.
Despite the challenges, they press onward, determined to reach their destination despite the bitter cold. Had they arrived just a month later, perhaps it would not have been so miserable. But even though it was nearly summer in the Desert Cities, the north was just beginning to experience winter.
Their hunts in the evenings brought some much-needed sustenance. Every evening, Lumi and Ennui return with small game like rabbits and grouse, grateful for any source of food to fill their growling stomachs in this unforgiving terrain.
Preparing to leave another abandoned village, Ennui returns from the root cellar of a misshapen home. The ceiling had collapsed onto itself and the walls buckled in. The entirety of the building rests with snow thick over its remnants. With an arm filled with mushrooms of various shapes and sizes, she stands before them. The fire from the previous night now nothing more than embers.
Ennui sighs, kneeling and dropping them into the snow before the fire. A cast-iron pan sits off to the side, which she hastily thrusts back into the embers. Khimi has never seen Ennui desperate or weak. In the short time since they left Riverwatch, her skin seems tighter on her cheeks, and her clothing seems loose. The thought of his own state crosses his mind, but he pushes it away before he allows his worries to take hold of him.
“Shoulda left the pan over the fire,” Ennui mumbles to herself, the agitation clear on her face. “After this, we need to get a move on.”
Augustus shoulders against her, with a weak look on his face, he takes the makeshift spoon from the snow. “We’re getting closer, I can feel it.”
Ennui rubs her hand along her shoulder, “We had better be getting closer, because we sure as hells can’t be getting any further away.”
“How much further could the Bastion be anyway?” Lumi says, shivering with his arms wrapped around himself. “And why would anyone want to… live here in the first place?”
“Because sometimes you just have to deal with the cards you are dealt,” Ennui mutters in response, her fingers tight on the dagger while she deftly slices through the meat of the mushrooms. She pauses to blow warm air across them before continuing, “I think most of these people don’t have a choice. No matter how hard they try to start something… or make a home outside of one of the larger cities, they don’t make it.”
“No,” Lumi mumbles, his entire body shivering suddenly. “I mean… why would anyone live in the north? It’s miserable!”
Khimi draws him into an embrace, “Because we don’t all have the good fortune of being born in the Desert Cities,” he says, rubbing his hand along Lumi’s frigid form.
“I am sure they think the same for here,” Augustus mumbles, “I’ve heard of northern folk coming down to the more arid regions and being unable to handle the heat.”
“In either case, it doesn’t matter,” Ennui grumbles, tossing the last of the sliced mushrooms into the pan. “Would be nice if we had some fat to render these down… they’ll probably just burn again.”
“Crispy shrooms are better than nothing,” Mido replies, his tongue tracing over his lips. “Though… I’d kill for some more grouse… even a mouse or rat.”
Augustus looks up at Lumi, a slow smile forms. “I have to say, though, we’ve been through more than we ever expected… I am glad we’re here. I’ve learned a lot from our little adventure. Think I’ll be sad once we get there, to the Bastion, that is.”
Mido laughs, nearly hysterical, “I’ll be glad to get out of the cold… go back to the Desert Cities and never come back.”
Augustus’ head whips in Mido’s direction, “How could you say that?! After all of this, the whole reason you wanted to come to the north with them was because…”
Mido shakes his head, “I don’t think there is much of a chance to find them,” he admits quietly. “Even if I wanted to… the north is huge. And Saint Nina couldn’t really tell me where they were. She only said they were somewhere in the north. That she couldn’t communicate with them… but she could give me a vague location – the north.”
Lumi looks up at Mido in surprise. “You could have asked… I would have tried.”
“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Ennui mutters with a sigh, “What if they were in Cochon? The whole place is gone.” As if realizing the mistake in her words, she stands up, her pale features seem to grow more pale. “Shit,” she murmurs, glancing between everyone.
“What she means, Lum–”
“He knows,” Khimi announces, his words breaking through Mido’s speech. “He’s known for a while.”
Lumi shakes his head, “It wasn’t me… what happened in Cochon. It was a goddess… but I heard them talking after. About everything that went on, about how the city was destroyed.”
Ennui tosses her hands into the air, “You knew the whole time?”
Augustus’ hands rest on his hips as he releases a heavy sigh, “At least we don’t have to pretend anymore. I’ve almost let it slip so many times… but bloody hells, Lumi. Mido saw the whole thing!”
“It was… enough to make anyone a believer in the Faith, and enough to scare anyone into believing that the gods are real,” Mido whispers. “I almost wish I hadn’t seen it myself. I think a part of me prefers to believe the stories about the saints to have been just that… stories.”
Lumi remains silent and nods his head while Khimi holds him between his arms.
“I think that Lumi would rather no–”
“I’m fine, Khimi. I am fine to talk about it… if we need to. But I don’t remember anything after I invoked the goddess. It was just a blur of darkness. Then I heard Mido call my name, and I could see again… then I couldn’t, just like that,” Lumi says, addressing the group in a matter of fact tone. “It was all just really quick.”
“Well then, there we have it,” Ennui says with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. “Now we know Lumi’s side of it, and we can all move past it.”
“But… I do want to say one thing,” Lumi speaks up from over Khimi’s arms. “I don’t intend to harness those powers… not unless I have to… not unless I need to keep Khimi safe.”
“Wh-what do you mean,” Mido asks frantically, “Lumi, we need your magick.”
“You are going to cripple us… for what?” Ennui asks, her expression becoming more stern by the moment. “Because of some principle?” She asks in disbelief. “Lumi… if you didn’t cut Perri off from the others when you did, they would have descended upon us with over twenty riders. Sure, they may have been poorly trained, stuffy rabbits sitting behind the comforts of their walls. But they had the numbers.”
“I-I am almost certain they would have killed me,” Augustus says sheepishly. “I didn’t see that mage, Raul. But if he was there, one of us would have most certainly been in a very bad way afterward.”
“That was different,” Lumi begins, “I said I would channel that magick if I had to keep Khimi safe, but otherwise I don’t want to depend on their magick… people always die. Every time. Perri, Cochon, the Golden Isles.”
Mido sighs, “Any magick… ?”
“Just… the pow–”
Ennui stabs a mushroom with her dagger and teases the edge of it with her teeth. “Fucking Hells, Lum–”
“He’s free to do what he wants,” Khimi interrupts, tensing his arms over Lumi’s small form.
Ennui snickers and rocks back and forth on her heels, “Oh, Khimi. Don’t be dense. He’ll be forced to use his magick time and time again. Each time, it will be the same thing. He’ll feel bad, there will be casualties. This is just the life he has chosen to live.” Her eyes narrow on Lumi. “And you know… without the power the gods have GIVEN you, that you are nothing more than a boy. You may be fast, and you have some strength, but you’re a boy nonetheless. You’ll always be a boy.”
“I didn’t choose this, Ennui!” Lumi growls, forcing himself against the prison of Khimi’s arms. “The gods chose for me.”
“And you’re complaining?” Ennui laughs aloud, “You have any idea how many people WANT to be chosen? How many people admire the saints? You are so sel–”
“Stop!” Khimi growls, tightening his arms around Lumi. “This isn’t the time.”
“When is the time, Khimi?”
“When we’re done with everything,” Lumi begins, “I’ll go back, I’ll go back to Rhaz… and I’ll do what Nina and Lilith said. I’ll start a new temple, I’ll do what I need to… but only once we get what we want.”
Ennui’s sharp features are twisted in a mixture of agitation and fury, her tail whipping behind her with an aggressive crack. The back of her dagger clicks against her horns.
Lumi’s anger rises into his cheeks, and he struggles to find words. Ennui’s presence is overwhelming, her powerful aura radiating off of her with all the presence of a true devil.
“You think this Gilbert man is going to offer you some easy solution?” Ennui continues, her voice laced with sarcasm. “That he’s going to hand you and your man a happily ever after on a silver platter? Wake up, Lumi. Life doesn’t work like that.”
Lumi opens his mouth to speak, but Ennui cuts him off with a sharp gesture of her dagger. “Don’t be naive,” she snaps. “When have you ever heard of a story with a quick and happy ending?”
“I-I don’t know!” Lumi exclaims, his frustration bubbling over.
“Nah, Lumi,” Ennui snaps, pointing her dagger at him with shaking hands and a snarl on her lips. “You listen to me. You’re going to keep using those damn godly powers… because without them, this journey will be even harder. So toughen up, because we all need that strength. We all relied on their magick to survive in Cochon and against the pirates and Perri.”
Lumi’s jaw trembles as he meets Ennui’s gaze with defiance in his eyes. “But what about my feelings? My wants?”
Mido sighs and places a calming hand on Ennui’s shoulder. “Perhaps we should let it go if Lumi doesn’t want–”
“I won’t let it go,” Ennui grumbles, finally releasing her tense shoulders with a heavy sigh. “Put aside your own feelings for just one moment, Lumi. Think of others, you ungrateful–”
“I AM!” He interrupts, his voice straining with emotion. “I don’t want… I hate having to take lives like you do!”
“Monsters,” Ennui whispers, her voice barely audible amidst the howling winds and swirling snow. “I killed people, Lumi. You kill monsters. The people you have slain, those are the true monsters.” She pauses, her eyes pleading with him. “I won’t ask you to use your gifts, but I implore you to consider it… because hells knows we will need them.”
Lumi shifts his gaze away from Ennui, scanning the desolate landscape around them. The frigid air nips at his cheeks and nose, and he buries his face into the warmth of Khimi’s woolen sleeves. The snow falls in thick, heavy drifts, shrouding everything in a blanket of white. Their horses stand nearby, their muzzles buried in the snow as they struggle against the exhaustion of their long journey.
“I think that’s enough for now,” Khimi whispers, allowing his arms to drop to his sides.
Ennui stabs another mushroom and places it between her fingers, she takes a step closer to them. Only inches away from Lumi and forces the crispy piece against Lumi’s lips, “Lumi…” she says, her voice is calm. “Monsters.”
A heavy silence falls over the group as they turn to face Ennui and Lumi. Lumi’s eyes widen as he opens his mouth and allows the mushroom slice to enter. A small smirk forms on Ennui’s cold lips as she watches him swallow. The edge of his lips tug into a smile, matching hers.
The atmosphere is tense, filled with unease and suspicion as they all silently contemplate the meaning behind Ennui’s actions.
“Are you finished?” Khimi asks finally, clapping his hands on Lumi’s shoulders.
“I’m finished,” Ennui replies, seemingly having made her point.
Unsure what point Ennui had been trying to reach with the curious action, Khimi raises his brow at her, then turns back to the horses. After a moment, he helps Lumi up onto the saddle before he helps Ennui and the others collect the remaining bits of their camp. With a sluggishness to their pace, they make for the deepest reaches of the north.
***
As the sun sets with a hint of pink and purple, another day slips away from them. In the last lingering light, a spectacular vision comes into view. Towering stone walls stretch towards the sky to the northwest, illuminated by flickering bonfires perched on towers at regular intervals. A massive gate, rising halfway up the walls, nestled against the stones. An icy moat lies between them and the gate, its frozen surface reflecting the last rays of light. Wooden spikes jut out of the bottom of the moat like sharp daggers, a deadly deterrent to any intruders.
Through the darkness, it is difficult to gauge the depth, but just the sight of it is enough to make them urge their horses further away from its treacherous edge.
Khimi raises his torch above his head, casting a dim light over their surroundings. In response, torches appear along the crenelations of the walls across the gorge. The figures manning these torches are too far away to be seen clearly, but their movement causes the light to dance and sway along the walls.
Still some distance from the gates, Khimi calls out a greeting in his raspy voice that struggles to form words. Despite his hoarse voice, he continues to shout out in hopes of receiving a response from whoever may be guarding the gates. The winding roads and rugged terrain have brought them to just one possible destination – Winterholt, the sprawling capital city of the Northern Provinces. The glow from beyond the walls is unmistakable, and Khimi immediately knows what he already suspects. This is no ordinary city, but rather the beating heart of the north, and home of the Saint of Creation.
“Perhaps we’ll get a chance to meet Hollgrehenn,” Khimi whispers to Lumi, while he looks up at the looming walls.
Their horses kick up snow and mud as they race along the edge of the moat, their hooves pounding against the frozen ground. They spur their mounts on until they are directly in front of the looming gates. Khimi’s voice rings out first, echoing across the distance, followed by Augustus and then Mido. At last, from the top of the towering fortress, the swinging torches halt and a deep, gruff voice booms through the air. Khimi strains to hear the words bidding them welcome, his heart racing with anticipation and nerves.
“Do you think?” Lumi questions, his voice barely raising above a whisper.
“Why wouldn’t we? You’re both of the Faith, you’re both representatives of your orders, I don’t see why he wouldn’t.”
The voice rings out in greeting again, the torch waving back and forth frantically, “What business do you have with Winterholt?” The voice booms over the moat.
“We’re travelers, seeking safety for the night!” Khimi calls back, “We have business at the Bastion of Sages, but seek solace for a few days rest!”
“Our horses are in need!” Augustus calls out after, “We have had a long journey!”
The voice responds in a hurried manner, “Apologies, but the gates of Winterholt remain closed until morning. However, there is an outpost to the northeast that you can reach in three hours.”
Frustration creeps into Khimi’s tone as he replies, “We’ve been on the road for too long already. Our horses need food and we need rest!”
Lumi interjects nervously, “Please, tell Holgrehenn that the Saint of Flames is here!”
A moment of silence passes before laughter erupts from atop the tower. The figure’s head appears between the crenelations again as others join in on the mocking mirth. “You’re the Saint of Flames? Well, then I must be a JOTUN!”
Lumi snorts at this. his frustration clear. Heat rises against Khimi’s body. “Stay calm,” Khimi whispers to him, “We can go to the outpost.” He raises his voice to call out to the gatekeeper once more, “We will make our way to the outpost. Will we be welcomed there?”
“That all depends,” the voice responds, his tone dripping with sarcasm. “How many saints are in your company?” More laughter and jeers follow the question, causing Khimi to exchange a worried glance with his companions.
“Dwarves,” Ennui groans with a roll of her eyes. She spurs her horse to the northeast.
Lumi calls back to them, his voice quivering with anger. “I’ll be sure to tell Hollgrehenn of this when I return!”
Laughter and guffaws echo past the moat, “We’ll be sure to tell him that a saint stopped by to pay him a visit…”
“Lumi,” Mido whispers, “it isn’t worth your time or energy. They obviously wouldn’t believe you.”
Khimi nods and places his hand along Lumi’s waist, his thighs tighten and urge the draft horse onward. The torch roars with the movements of the wind, and Khimi narrows his eyes on the cold distance before them. His hopes for a night in the comforts of a warm room and a belly full of meat and mead are dashed. The effects of his hunger have made his mood far more severe than he cares to admit. The further north they traveled, the colder it became. With the dropping temperatures, no one seemed eager to carry on their conversations.
Left alone to his thoughts, the image of Perri’s death still haunts Khimi, his scream echoing in his mind even as he tries to push it away. He remembers the smell of burning flesh and the intense red fury in Lumi’s eyes. Some part of him tries to justify the act, to convince himself that it was necessary. But deep down, he can not help but wonder if there could have been another way. If maybe, just maybe, he could have talked Perri out of his anger. These thoughts torment him, gnawing at his conscience with relentless force.
As Khimi’s hand rests on Lumi’s waist, he can not help but notice how small it feels. Memories flood his mind of a time when Lumi was fuller and healthier. He starts to wonder how thin, how weak Lumi’s frame has become beneath his clothes. His doubts and insecurities begin to surface, causing him to question if he is truly capable of taking care of him outside the comforts of the Desert Cities. How could he let Lumi sacrifice so much for him when he feels like he can’t even provide for him now? The guilt and fear consume him. His thumb strokes gently, edging up along his hip, feeling the bone beneath the skin.
Khimi’s lips brush against Lumi’s ear, his warm breath tickling the rounded edges. The feel of their bodies pressed together as he nuzzles his cheek through Lumi’s soft, blond locks is exhilarating. “When we get back to Rhaz, I think we should take some time–”
But before he can finish, Lumi interrupts with a sharp tone still laced with anger. “When we get back to Rhaz,” his voice trembles as he fights to keep his composure. “We’re staying in your bed for a week… and eating so much, we won’t be able to move.”
“Anything else?” Khimi asks playfully, relieved to see Lumi’s liveliness.
Lumi grips the reins tightly in his hands, his gaze shifting back to Khimi with a mischievous smirk. “You know what else,” he whispers teasingly, sending a rush of heat through Khimi.
“I can live with that,” Khimi replies, placing another kiss between Lumi’s ears. Once more, every doubt or concern vanishes.
With a sudden burst of energy, Khimi spurs his horse forward into the darkness. As they ride, Khimi’s mind is consumed with thoughts of home and the familiar comforts waiting for him there. He envisions Lumi, his delicate form pressed against him, his skin soft and warm beneath his fingers. The memory of the luxurious Rhazian silk draped over his back fills him with a sense of longing and desire.
The hours pass quickly, a bonfire grows into view, the light reflecting off of a tower surrounded by a wooden palisade wall. Their pace slows, passing through the last snow-covered conifers before they arrive in a clearing surrounding the structure. As if their arrival had been anticipated, figures with torches stand along the entrance of the wall. Their short-hulking silhouettes immediately make them out to be dwarven in nature. At their approach, the dwarves close in, torches raised high above their heads. The rings of their armor cling together, and several lift their hands, motioning for the group to halt.
The intimidating dwarf at the front calls out in a booming voice, his scarred face contorting into a smile. His blind eye twitches as he speaks. “Travelers!” he bellows, “we received word from Winterholt,” he chuckles before catching himself. “You must be the ones with the Saint of Flames, eh?”
The dwarves lining either side of him raise their torches higher to get a better look at the group.
Khimi gazes ahead and notices a large bonfire burning beyond the palisade walls, which protect a small group of houses. Nestled among the frozen ground is grass and brush that pokes through the snow. As they draw closer, he can see a stable attached to the base of the tower, where horses are hungrily chomping on hay from their troughs. Their breath creates puffs of steam in the cold air as they stamp their hooves impatiently.
“That’d be us,” Ennui says, raising her voice to match the man’s. “We have the Saint of Flames with us, though your friends didn’t believe us.”
“Weirder things have happened,” one of the dwarves muses, shaking his head with a wry smile. The fur lining his cap ruffles in the wind, emphasizing the roundness of his face and the scruffiness of his beard. “We can offer you shelter for the night, though our quarters are limited.”
“A warm room is welcome after freezing in the snow,” Mido replies gratefully, his teeth chattering from the cold.
“With the Saint of Flames among you, I figured they’d be able to keep everyone warm,” the third man teases, gesturing for them to come closer.
“It’s been a long journey,” Khimi responds with fatigue evident in his voice. The dwarven man with a jagged scar takes hold of their horse’s bridle. “We are grateful for your hospitality…”
“Don’t mention it,” he reassures them with a warm smile, “our outpost may be small, but it is our home.”
As they approach, Khimi notices the worn edges of their clothes and the calluses on their hands, evidence of their hard work in this harsh environment. Despite this, their faces are welcoming and kind, exuding a sense of camaraderie and resilience. Having a friendly face in such a harsh environment gives him a sense of calm.
It is not long before their horses are stowed, and the head of the dwarven group leads them to a small house. Shouldering into the door, he gestures into the room. Bundles of blankets are situated every which way across the planks. In the very center of the room is an area which dips below the wooden planks, dropping into the dirt. A small fire rises from and into a chimney that vents the smoke from the room. It is surprisingly warm inside, a welcome change from the constant freeze of their usual nightly routine.
Lumi’s nose rises into the air, a smile on his cheek. “What do I smell?” he asks, his excitement showing in his glistening eyes. “It… smells so good.”
“It’s just venison and potatoes, we use lots of pepper to cut through that strong taste. I’ll go grab some bowls, and ya can all eat yer fill,” he says. “We’ll see to yer horses…”
Khimi looks about the room and settles their belongings against the door, offering the Dwarven man a shake of his hand. “How can we repay you?”
“Tell me your story, tell me why the magus said the Saint of Flames was coming to our outpost. Even if it’s just a story, it’d be enough to keep us entertained for a time.”
Augustus smiles and places his hand on Khimi’s arm. “By all means, allow me to tell you our story.”